Insufferable cat

I was a bit more patient with my cat pre baby, I wouldn’t say I ever hated her, she’s still my baby, but when she licks herself super loud I get mad😂 I think we’re just a little fried post baby and there’s already so much movement and noise. I can’t say I’ve ever felt what you’re feeling to that extent but she definitely tests me more often now😂xx

Hoping this is some help One of my 10 year old girls loves to harp (her names harper 😂) and he knows absolutely nothing about patience. Whenever babies crying she’s there crying to go out. Wants to come on my lap as soon I’m trying to soothe baby and honestly it was driving me insane. The more time though im realising it’s just hormones and I’m not like it every single day. She’s still adjusting, I’m still adjusting. Where she had my full attention before it’s now not as much as that would be a hard thing for her. I have found that I’m more touchy postpartum. Sorry this is no help but know that you’re not alone. I’ve been trying to make sure I have some 1 on 1 time with her every day when baby goes to sleep and it’s strengthening the connection again xx

This happened to my friend and it passed at 9 months. I do find myself getting overwhelmed more while pregnant and that makes it harder to process something more than my baby, especially if I’m unsure of what the animals actions are going to be. My midwife said the feeling is normal, it’s our body’s way of telling us our baby’s need attention and they need our focus so sometimes we just need to go to a quieter room to focus on them. But this will pass as our babies become less dependent

It’s completely normal. I was like this with my dog and now my baby can sit up and he’s a little bit more independent. I have the time for him again, which helps.

It’s completely normal don’t worry! It will change in time but I think the mass of hormones really don’t help x

Don't worry, I felt the exact same (and still do sometimes, 8 months on!). Your focus has changed and newborns are demanding. Your hormones are also all over the place. It will get better, promise, you just got through a bit of a rough patch x

I put a post similar to this a couple years ago but about my dog. It was after my first baby, and I really really struggled to just have him in the house again. Most people were supportive but I had a few people comment like the person above and it made me feel awful and I looked into rehoming him. I look back now and think how awful that would've been for everyone involved especially him, being dumped to another house purely because I was struggling to cope with him for a few months? Not being able to have a chance to rebuild that bond (which did happen 🥰) honestly I think would've destroyed him. I can't say I had any time for him and I rejected him a lot, but he was in his own home, walked, fed and looked after for those few months that it was rough. I did a lot of reading and researching and it is a really normal and common thing. It's definitely hormone related and it will calm back down. You're just touched out at the moment looking after a baby but you'll soon have the time and patience again.❤️

@Bethaney lol, you clearly need to work on your understanding of how mental health works. Also I hardly think being rehomed is a way of spending twilight years feeling loved, quite the opposite. No need to make someone feel guilty for how they already feel bad for feeling. You said yourself "you will never understand it", so maybe until you do understand it keep your two cents out of it?

@Bethaney she's incognito cause there's people like you on here, but you carry on making people feel shit about things they can't control if that makes you feel a better human. As you said you don't understand it, so you're opinion is worthless anyway. I hope noone ever comes into your cat rescue in crisis as clearly your lack of understanding as you've stated let's you guide your judgement anyway.

Also for the original poster - this is a really good link. It is in reference to a dog but it's the same guidance. https://www.dogmeetsbaby.expert/post/help-i-resent-my-dog @Bethaney if you really do work in the animal field, maybe do reading into this to understand it more? A lot of articles highlight the importance for compassion from veterinary staff and for them to help support bonds, quite the opposite of what you were recommended. I dont even mean this passively aggressively - i just really hate people being made to feel guilty for something that is normal by people who haven't researched it. If you or the original poster would like any other articles, please PM me. I've read into this subject a tonne 👍

@Bethaney for someone who works in the rehoming world you really should have more empathy.i have worked in rescues and fostered for well over 10 years alongside training dogs, and the most important part of working with animals is showing empathy to people and understanding where they are to help the animals they have. The fact is it is normal to feel like this and it doesn’t last long. It’s great you never felt like that, I never had morning sickness during pregnancy- doesn’t mean everyone who did are terrible people. The fact this is normal is why I’m constantly telling people to give their pets less attention during pregnancy to prepare them for the space when baby arrives - not everyone needs it but a lot do and it really is normal. This is not someone saying she doesn’t want her pet anymore in fact she literally asks how to stop it. People making judgement when they clearly don’t understand the situation never helps. Judging people in any situation with their pets never helps.

Thank you everyone for the support I really appreciate it. @Bethaney your unkindness won’t be forgotten in a hurry, please be more mindful before posting. I hope when I am sat here in 6 months time, having rebonded with my cat, that I remember your response and it helps me to support another struggling mum in a completely different way to how you have gone about it. I was looking for support on how to get the bond back with my cat, not for someone who claims to work with animals to be so unkind and judgmental. I don’t want to rehome my cat, I posted so others could offer me support on how to bond with him again. You’ve clearly misunderstood but that’s ok. We are all just doing what we think is best. I wish you peace and happiness in the future.

@Rosie I just read through that article. It’s so helpful, thank you for posting it. I really appreciate the support ❤️

Please don't listen to the likes of Bethaney, who clearly doesn't understand how you are feeling, but there are a lot of women who do. It is completely normal and you will get your bond back, it will just take some time. Luckily, cats are quite independent. I made sure any visitors who visited the baby also fussed the cats, and my partner made sure he spent a bit more time with them. The cats are also getting used to a major change in dynamics so they can also be a bit put out. One of my cats is only just getting used to the baby being around, 8 months post partum. I still get annoyed with my boys sometimes, but it's not at all like it was (couldn't even look at them without feeling disgust. Sounds extreme, but hormones are!). Now they are interacting with my baby and she is wanting to play with them, it's all falling into place. I've got one of my cats cuddled up to me now whilst my partner plays with our baby downstairs and it's lovely. You will get through it and love your cat again ❤️

@Bethaney I can’t help but find your comment a little contradictory. You see all too often animals being dumped, and then go on to say I should rehome my cat. I’m concerned that your advice to someone reaching out for support on rebonding with a cat after a major life event is to have it rehomed. This is even more concerning if you do really work for a rehoming charity. Perhaps you can reach out to your employer and ask for some additional training on this matter? I think we will leave it at that Bethany, as I don’t think this is helping anyone. I wish you peace in the future.

@Bethaney she's 3 months post partum for goodness sake! To suggest rehoming when hormones are still raging and will likely settle over the next few months is honestly ridiculous and damaging. Someone who is really struggling could take your advice as gospel and then really regret it further down the line. Luckily, it sounds like this lovely lady isn't listening to your advice, and I hope she enjoys some cat cuddles soon ❤️

Thank you @Katherine I appreciate the support. I’ve had some really good suggestions on this post. Me and my cat will get there, it’s been so helpful for everyone to normalise how I have been feeling.