No longer a step mom

I was with this man for 2, almost 3 years. His 4.5YO daughter adores me. We allowed her to call me mom and I watched her everyday that we had her, was basically her primary parent in every aspect. We got engaged last December, after I gave birth to her brother in November. Then his drinking took over and I couldn’t take it anymore… so I took my son and we left… it has been almost 4 months now that I have been out of the home but she still calls me mommy. I’d do anything for that little girl. Even to this day. But her dad and I’ll never get back together. We tried to fix things for about a month after we did the court stuff (up till about mid-October), after he supposedly got help with his issues and whatnot, and then all the sudden he changed his mind. Our whole parenting plan was based off us working together to love the kids and give them the family they deserve. And now he has a new girlfriend and I can’t tell whether he’s actually serious about it or if this is all just a game to him. I’ve started the therapy. I’ve got a good job that I can provide for me and my son. I found a home where we can be comfortable. I just can’t get over the fact that my daughter has to be in the middle of this. Her mom and I have become friends, which I’m thankful for. It’ll make things a little better that I can still see her grow without hurting myself by being around her dad all the time… but this wasn’t supposed to be my life. My kids were supposed to grow up together in a home where they knew their parents loved each other. And now it’s just a one sided love and the rest is crap.

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My god I’m so sorry you and those babies are having to go through this..but you’re an amazing mother and person for continuing this relationship with your son and his sister. They may not have gotten the life you pictured for them but they will still mantain a strong sibling bond.

Keep up with the therapy. ❤️ Don't expect to just feel "normal" or that you'll effortlessly bounce back now that your court papers are signed. Acknowledge you've suffered several major losses since last year while also tending to a newborn (a time you naturally have to put your own needs on the back burner). As your son gets older, try to find times where you can sit with your sadness and mourn the life you wanted for yourself and your children. Find ways to honor the love you have for this little girl when you can't express it to her directly. Let your family and friends know how you are feeling so you are not alone with your grief. I'm sorry this has happened to your family.

So sorry u had to go through this, it must have been hard. Ur daughter is blessed to have you. Keep up the relationship with her so she can have a good one with her brother. I'm glad u and her mum are in good terms. Stay strong

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