I’ve come to hate sex

I think he’s trying to make you feel better about yourself. I don’t think he’s necessarily lying more so trying to make it enjoyable for you. I’m not trying to defend him or make you feel unheard or anything! Childbirth/pp body images can do affect our mental states and in turn effect how turned on we get during intercourse. While pelvic floor exercises don’t “tighten” you they can strengthen those muscles and make you feel better, kegels can also really help. I hope you find something that helps. Lack of sexual intimacy can be quite devastating to self esteem as well as a relationship. I would say put more effort into emotional intimacy for the time being over sexual. Oral for both of you would be a good place to start as well. I would also highly recommend talking to him and telling him how you feel and don’t be rude or afraid, but more open and honest. You guys are a team both in and out of the bedroom. I hope you find something that works and you start to feel better. ❤️

I second what Bella said especially the part about taking to him and being honest. To me it sounds like he cares for you and he probably goes “soft” because he can see you don’t want intimacy. Be honest and you can find a way to get through this together.

for the record he could also be having some issues with his own body in regard to his issues with maintaining an erection. also, just because you think he's lying, doesn't mean that he is. I'm fat and I hate my body and I have to talk myself out of believing that my partner is lying about still loving my body and finding me sexy. if he didn't find me attractive and wasn't excited to sleep with me, then he wouldn't be sleeping with me, ya know? it sounds like he wants to help you feel good about yourself and help you enjoy sex again, and it doesn't sound like he's just trying to outright lie to you. give him and yourself a little grace 🩷 how old is your LO?

I feel so embarrassed to tell him I’m insecure of my loose vagina , I’ve used tightening sticks but i don’t feel completely comfortable with taking those measures but it’s helpful

This is a topic that can't be handled alone if you're married. Talk to him. Open up tp him. And both, find a solution. Whether is surgical procedure or exercises. It has a solution.

Can I ask why you think your V isn’t a tight? What makes you feel insecure about it?

@Danni well I know can tell , sex use to feel one way now it doesn’t feel that way I feel it , I feel the change

I don’t think you need to feel like you can’t trust him about this because it seems like he’s not really trying to lie more make you feel good. Sorry you’re going through this though I think communication is key, I understand you’re embarrassed because I’m so embarrassed by how down there looks after giving birth xx