What would you do?

I’d abort and look for a way out of that situation. If your partner is treating you and the kids like that

@Kynejah I can’t abort :/ they are due at the end of the month.

I’m sorry I didn’t know how far along you were. Whatever decision you make is going to be hard but you’re the only one who really has to live with it. Have you told dad how you feel?

First off, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. “Mean, rude, and aggressive” sounds like abuse, especially against a baby. Personally, I would look at adoption, like the 1st option suggested. From the fact it was the 1st option in the poll, I can tell you’re really considering it. It’s going to be a rough, hard path either way but we’re the strongest when we really need it. Whether you choose to keep the twins or not, finding a safe way out should be a top priority, for your children and yourself. Start with any assistance you can, shelters, housing assistance, food, clothes, mental health, literally anything. Tell your OBGYB office or the hospital you get your check ups in. They’ll point you to the right direction.

@Kynejah no it’s okay ❤️ I appreciate it. I haven’t because he doesn’t understand the stress and pressure I am under. He swears his work issues is more important than my mental state. As if I don’t work, take care of the toddler, deal with twin pregnancy, the house, the pets. Like I have so much on my plate I’m literally losing it 😭😭😭😭😭

@Paige it’s abuse to me, because I come from an abused past. But when I say mean, rude, and aggressive, this what he does, Baby is crying he will yell loudly, or place his hand over our toddlers mouth. Baby gets hurt, “you’re fine.” Even if it’s like he smacked his head hard on the tile floor. I’m not ok with that type of parenting. The aggressive is when baby is doing things he shouldn’t and not listening, he will spank him and toss him not hard but like pushes him on the bed and try’s to keep him there like “time out” which I don’t agree with either. I think a lot of the issues I have with his parenting style is my personal issues on top of seeing his patience levels. When it comes to giving up my girls, this was just a thought I had today because I’ve been having mentally such a rough week. This pregnancy has been the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I don’t think after seeing them I could physically give them away. But I also want to make sure I can provide for them &

@Paige my son. That’s where my decision needs to come. And if dad can’t shape up I feel like mentally maybe I can handle this alone if I truly was alone. The way he acts, his laziness, and lack of parenting ability add on to my mental load, maybe without him I’d feel less stressed when it came to my children since he isn’t basically rubbing in my face, how easy he has it compared to me.

You said you haven’t had a break since your first born so I assume these issues have been going on for some time? I don’t partially think theirs anything wrong with his parenting style it’s each to their own in my opinion.

Everything you just described him doing to your baby made my heart hurt for them..none of that is ok, that is all abusive af. I agree with needing to find a way to leave him, you and your baby do not deserve that and if he’s that way with a BABY I don’t even want to imagine how he’s gonna be as they get older or with even more babies..pleaseee protect yourself and your babies and get away from him before it goes any further.

@Elena no I haven’t. Yes since my son was born. I asked not to have more babies until he could prove he’d be a better partner/father but then a month after that conversation I got my positive pregnancy test 😭 I don’t think there is anything wrong other than the way it makes me feel. I get we all have our own ways of parenting but when I’ve expressed to you that I come from an abusive father and it tends to make me cringe and bring some trauma up for me, I’d expect some kindness. Not basically “that’s your problem” I think he could be a little less of an asshole to a 15 month old….

@jackie I refer to him as a baby but I guess you can say toddler he is 15m. I’m just so conflicted:(

That’s still a baby in my eyes and regardless of how old they are, that’s still abuse and not ok, everyone has different ways of parenting but holding your hand over a crying kids mouth and yelling at them when they are upset, holding them down when they are “in trouble”..That’s not parenting that’s abuse. I could never let my children endure that no matter how I felt towards my partner, that’s all I’m saying.. spanking is one thing to disagree over but what your describing is totally different

I will just start off by saying that we have enough scientific evidence that spanking/hitting a child has the same effect as m*lestation/SA on a child’s brain. And if ANYONE put a hand over my child’s mouth, that’d be it for me. If you think the mental load would be easier without him though, it’s worth a try if you’re up for it! Just make sure you’re looking for those resources. Again, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation.

@jackie I totally understand that. I have asked him repeatedly to stop putting his hand over his mouth. Like when you cry you know your nose gets clogged so what you’re doing is not ok! He can’t breathe! He doesn’t listen to me. It’s to the point I have to physically remove his hand. I worry about my son when my twins are born because I know I won’t be there as much during the first month of the every 2 hour feeds 😭😭😭

@Paige I agree with you, I do think spanking is ok personally. But when it goes beyond that like the hand over the mouth, that’s what I feel like is not ok. My only issues is I can’t afford to break my lease and I have no savings. My car is a coupe and won’t support 3 kids So I have explained to the father that come next August we will need to go our separate ways if things do not change. I have also expressed that I have no issues sleeping in the kids room and being a separated but living together until the time comes we can go our separate ways.

Give up him, not the babies. They need you. All of your children need a safe, loving home. You'd be better doing it on your own. Your poor baby deserves better.

@Rachel I wish I could just kick him to the curb. I financially cannot afford this place right now, so I have to wait till next August for us to be able to separate. I primarily take care of my kiddo specifically because of this ways. I don’t ask him to do crap anymore despite how bad I’m feeling or tired I am. I know I take good care of him. 😭

I’d keep the kids but lose the husband, he can pay child support. If you can’t go live with family for a bit you could look into a women’s shelter to get some support

Theres open adoption! U can choose the family & have visits! Do whats best for ur mental health & the children.

I'm so sorry. Please be well