Social and communication development

My 2.8 year old is so oblivious I don’t know what to do anymore. Something deep inside me tells me he his not a typical toddler I had him evaluated for ASD and every professional said they do not think he is autistic. He is a sweet kid but he is so in his own world. Are all two year olds this oblivious? He will step on my foot with no care I will tell him he stepping on me and it hurts he repeatedly does it. When he gets excited he hits again I will tell him but it just doesn’t register. He will hug his baby sister to the point that the baby cries and we have to tell him again you’re hurting her but he doesn’t register it. When potty training his diaper can be full he doesn’t care or if we go commando he poops in the floor and doesn’t care. His school said he just sits in his seat until invited to participate. If they don’t tell him come do an activity he will just sit there. He has limited communication we just found out he had some hearing loss and fixed that. He is not conversational but can communicate his wants and needs. He babbles and is very good at annotating his tv shows. He has a huge vocabulary if you ask him what something is he can tell you but if you ask him his name he doesn’t respond. But can recite ABCs, count 1-20, knows colors, shapes, animals, nursery rhymes, recognize family has great gross and fine motor skills and problem solving skills. I just don’t understand why he is so much in his own world. Is this a phase?

Show your support

Could be typical or not. If something feels off, get your son an evaluation. Many professionals thought my daughter was not autistic and she’s pretty social, plays pretend, plays appropriately with toys etc. she has autism. It is so slight the difference between her and toddlers that people laugh because they think I’m joking that she is autistic but if you look closely, she is. Example my daughter in mommy and me ballet will not sit with me in circles time and doesn’t listen. She does her own thing but so happy. She has no personal boundaries and goes up to everyone touching them, hugging , trying to get them to pick her up. She has limited vocabulary. Was late in most milestones. The spectrum is wide and my goal is to get her alllll the therapy early on. she is in ABA ,OT, speech. Wait lists are long. Don’t wait. I’m not trying to scare you but even low support needs need help early

I would say it’s really hard to tell just from a second hand account. My daughter (also a Feb 2022 baby) definitely does all those things you mentioned, but not all the time. She definitely sometimes will step on me and not notice, but other times she will bump into me, or step on my foot and then apologize. Depends on the mood she’s in. If she’s in a silly mood, she can be less cognizant of the situations around her, but I think that’s totally normal for their age. Toddlers are also still trying to harness their emotions and learn what’s proper in varying social interactions, so I think it really just depends how often your son does those things and how off it feels for the situation. I’d def ask his school more about how he compares to the other students. I feel that as mothers, we do have a special intuition that helps guide us, so go with your gut. But on that note, if the Dr already evaluated him and said he doesn’t have ASD, take him to another specialist for another opinion.

@Courtney I’m not scared I just want to understand and help my child. I will seek second opinions. My son knows boundaries but is also one that is content with doing his own thing. Can follow instructions but also sometimes just doesn’t. I feel like it could be such little things like you said people brush it off. I don’t think he needs ABA he listens to us and participate in life skills he is mot disruptive. He is in ST and OT. Some days are just exhausting. I feel like I can’t leave him with people because they won’t understand him. They may neglect his needs or think he is being bad when he is not.

@Laura neuro speech and OT all think he is fine 🤷🏾‍♀️ and then does quirky stuff. Most of them are saying wait a year and he will outgrow the behaviors.

I completely understand. My daughter follows 2 step directions at home but it’s different in mommy and me ballet. It just sets something off that I feel like something is different , it’s not bad, she just behaves a little differently. Whenever she was in day care she would sit at a table and they would leave her there so I took her out since they couldn’t take the time to get her acclimated. My daughter is in a play based , child lead aba to help her for 12 hours a week. 4 are in home, 2 of those are spent in OT, 2 are spent in speech, 1 is spent in gymnastics class with her therapist. She has no sensory sensitivities or behavioral issues , sleeps throught the nightso we just focus on communication mainly. I didn’t want to do the wait and see approach, i thought it was best to just get her extra support so she’s caught up by kindergarten. She’s very smart - new her abcs , numbers colors animals, etc by 18 months. The diagnosis just gave us the go for insurance to cover private help.

Right, but OP can’t get the support her LB would need if the specialists aren’t agreeing that there’s anything to diagnose… If, as his mom, you know something is off, I guess the best thing I can suggest is keep searching for a professional who will make you feel heard and give the answers you feel your child needs…

@Courtney my son school have been great about including him but if it doesn’t work well long run I consider ABA

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌