Just wanna rant 😭

Sorry if this sounds harsh...but he sounds like a bum. Im sorry but you found out in may you have a baby on the way. He should have a job by now hes had long enough knowing he has a child to provide for. Even a low paying job until something better come along would be something. You and baby deserve better x

@Leah he has a job that’s £70 a day but he doesn’t go cos he didn’t want too… now his asking me for £5. He said “are you financing him to take transport everyday” like…i don’t need petrol money from him so I can get to work like what ?

Well that confirms it then. Hes a lazy bum, got every opportunity to be out there earning a wage and providing for you and his child and instead hes scrounging off you. Dont give him a penny more and get rid is my advice. Finances are gonna be hard enough when you are on maternity and got a little mouth to feed, you dont need to be financially supporting a lazy grown man at the same time x

I think it’s worth having a frank conversation with him asap, otherwise resentment will only continue to grow & fester on your part - which is neither good for you nor baby. It sounds like some complacency & laziness may be at play for him. He may WANT to provide, but it sounds like he’s getting very comfortable with the current circumstances where he doesn’t really have to. It also sounds like - with his job applications - he might potentially be purposefully avoiding more low income jobs, to give him more of an excuse as to why he ‘just hasn’t found a job yet’. 7 months or more of looking, and absolutely nothing turning up, seems a tad strange to me. Maybe I’m just being cynical here, but it sounds like he needs some accountability. I’d advise expressing to him how important this is to you & being honest about your feelings. And thereafter…holding him to account, with weekly check-ins about his job search until he’s found something. Wish you all the best!

@Anne I literally just spoke to him about it and he gets defensive saying “are you financing me to take be able to get there everyday”…(his job his friend put him onto which is £70 a day) says he just doesn’t want to go. idrk what to do. He just ended the call to start a TikTok live instead . He rather be on live all day while I am at work.

Oooft, sorry lovely but I have to agree with @Leah in that case. Sounds like a mindset problem, and I don’t see that getting better if he’s actively turning down work while you’re pregnant - knowing full well what the responsibilities to come will be. It’s not going to get any easier when baby arrives, so I think it’s best to prioritise yourself and baby. He sounds like someone who will just continue to take and take from you and - worst still - he doesn’t seem to be someone who can be reasoned with, so I’d cut my losses if I were you. It’s never easy being on your own, but it doesn’t seem like he’ll be of much help anyway if this is his current attitude. Sounds like you have a decent family, who will hopefully chip in to help you when baby arrives.

@Anne I definitely know what I need To do I just needed more confirmation 😭thank you

I think you knew this deep down lovely. It will be hard but surround yourself with family and friends and make sure you and baby come first ❤️ all the best and good luck x

@Leah thank you💗

Hell no. Unfortunately there are people in the world who can work but decide living of benefits is the way they want to live. He sounds like he doesn’t want to work. I wouldn’t be putting up with any of that; I have too much pride and wouldn’t stand for it. He won’t be a billionaire if he doesn’t work and graft, I own multiple companies but I didn’t get to where I am without working. How is he going to help provide. It’s a 2 way street in my eyes, you both need to be providing not just one person. The odd night out for dinner is more than you’ll get when the baby is here, just saying. It is much harder to leave the house. The baby comes first and they are not cheap, it’s hard to say ‘it’s over’ when a baby is involved but maybe doing it no it will kick him up the arse before the baby is here. X

Has he always been a lazy scrounger? I’d be getting rid, nothing more unattractive and unsettling than someone with no drive to work. In the long run you’ll probs be so much better off without him in your life. What you’ve described is not a partnership

He needs to take responsibility, men find it easy to make excuses and we fall for it majority of the time. We women need to be strong and say what’s on our chest. My husband is annoying me for couple years he’s saying her going to change his job , he works nights. Still hasn’t and now we have baby on the way. I think it’s unfair as he will be working in the nights when I’m struggling with new born. On top When he comes home he’ll be sleeping till 3pm and we’ll have to tip toe around so me abs baby don’t wake him. So similar situation but I feel like sometime they don’t consider us

Sorry I mean not similar situation , but men always out themselves first.

@Salma very true, my boyfriend also said he will work today but instead woke up and decided to do a TikTok live. It’s honestly tiring repeating myself. So inconsiderate Aswell

I had this with my partner at the beginning. We actually were almost breaking point as the baby was supposed to change things. We have had counselling, and a very stressful journey for the first and second trimester. But I stuck to my guns and thankfully he found the new career start he wanted. I would say trust your intuition. Kick him out or move out for a while and if he wants this he will do anything to make it work... Stop making it OK for him to try. Force his hand. Will be hard but will give you time to heal and set a fresh start with or without him Xxxxxxx