Help please

I don't know where you live has Early Intervention services or not. Have you tried anything like that

?

Please read the book " the late talker" you'll find many answers.

Sending love from the US! My son was in a very similar situation at that age. We had him evaluated and he wasn’t interested in participating so he scored abysmally and the evaluators were basically convinced we were doomed. He’s now 5 and about to graduate from speech therapy. He talks all day and it’s amazing. I know not every kid will have that trajectory but it did happen for us and hopefully it will happen for your kiddo too. We didn’t get a diagnosis, though autism and adhd were mentioned as possibilities. We did private speech therapy, which was the available option for us in the US. We tried a couple different therapists before we found one who clicked with us. If your son doesn’t speak yet have you tried teaching him baby sign language? We did that and it served as a bridge to spoken language. Reached the character limit… hang on…

On the advice of his speech therapist we also got him an ipad with a speech program on it to use as an assistive communication device. There were words and phrases loaded on it so he could use it to say, for example, “I want cookie” or whatever. He was talking a bit when we got him this, and it was especially helpful when he was trying to talk but we couldn’t understand. Sometimes he would sigh in exasperation and say “blue ipad?” And we’d hand him the device and he’d find the words he was trying to say. The device and the sign language got him used to the idea of having a voice and communicating with us (there’s research to support this claim) and helped us get him to explore speaking. He also benefitted immensely from a speech therapist who knew about gestalt language processing, which is something you can look into if it ever feels relevant to your situation.

My son started talking a little around 2 1/2, made slow and steady progress through age 3, sped up from 4 onward, and now at 5 he’s full speed ahead. He still has some age appropriate challenges around some sounds but is making good progress with them. The other say someone remarked upon how well he speaks and I nearly fainted. I’m so sorry your family has to navigate this challenge. It’s so hard and frustrating and terrifying. Don’t give up and remember to take time to relax and enjoy your kiddo and all the wonderful things that he does do. I wish you great success and that your kiddo will soon talk your ears off. Please feel free to reach out to me if you think that could be helpful.

Sorry two more things — Him pointing, waving, gesturing, and experiencing frustration at not being able to communicate are all huge rays of hope. They show that he understands the concept of expressive communication and he wants to engage in it but for whatever reason he can’t right now. These factors make me think he might enjoy and embrace alternative communication methods like signing and/or an assistive device like I mentioned. Also him being smart and knowing numbers, letters, animals, etc. is a huge win! It shows that his brain has plenty of horsepower and is able to retain and compile lots of information. He honestly sounds so much like my kid did at that age that I genuinely have so much hope for you guys. Hang in there mom! You’re doing so great in a hard situation and your kid will benefit immensely from your dedication and love.

@Rosie we are in the UK

I'm sure they do have early intervention program in UK as well. You can talk to the pediatrician to get evaluated for speech delay

@Karissa did your son have any other symptoms of autism like repetative behaviours or stimming?

@Polly he would sometimes head bang a little when he was really upset or when he wanted to get a rise out of us. Then and now he has a tendency to choose not to engage with people he’s not into and is very good at entertaining himself patiently while I finish dealing with whoever he finds boring. Unfortunately for us, he found the early intervention evaluators tedious AF, barely deigned to engage with anything they tried to get him to do, and mostly he just wanted to play with the sweet new to him construction toys that they made available in the room. At the end of the evaluation, one of the evaluators was almost crying and let me know that “it was like he didn’t even know we were in the room.” I gently suggested that he was likely just bored with us and they immediately started treating me like a mom in denial.

After that we went through a period where just about anything he did was interpreted as a flag for autism by the various speech therapists we worked with. Therapist: “He’s lining up toys! That’s a red flag!” Me: “That’s b/c he’s pretending they’re a train. Look — I can change the order and it doesn’t upset him also he changes the order too.” T: “He’s focused on the toy car’s wheels!” Me: “He’s playing mechanic.” T: “His attention span is so much better now! But now I feel like he’s almost… too focused.” Me: [blank stare] We were also under a lot of pressure from our speech therapist to get a diagnosis because we live in Oregon in the US and I guess if you get a diagnosis here then the state throws a bunch of funding at your family, which is wonderful, but we have really good private insurance and I just didn’t think that this was the right diagnosis for him.

This is not me trying to say that autism isn’t a thing or trying to discourage anyone from pursuing a diagnosis. My perspective is really aligned with Stephen Cammarata’s views that he outlines in his book “Late-Talking Children: A Symptom or Stage.” I think a disproportionate number of late talkers, especially boys, get diagnosed with autism when maybe that’s not an accurate thing for them. The important thing is that a kid gets the help they need so if a diagnosis gets them there then that’s great!

@Karissa your story gives me so much hope. My son has confused me for a while yet in the UK health visitor and Salt just seem tunnel visioned with ASD.