I’m so over it

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way it sounds like you're in a tough spot. It's important to feel respected and comfortable in your relationship, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like intimacy. If your husband is pressuring you into trying something you're not comfortable with, that's a serious concern. You may want to have a candid conversation with him about how you're feeling. Explain why you're not open to this particular request, and express your emotional response to being pressured. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it involves boundaries and personal comfort zones. If you’re feeling uncertain about your marriage, it could also be helpful to seek couples counseling. A therapist can offer a neutral space where you can both talk about your needs, and concerns, and how to move forward in a way that respects both of you. Your feelings are valid.

@Soon Ae Tha k you so much for your response but yeah this topic been had almost every month for the past 3 years and I’m so over it to be honest he would understand why I don’t want to do it then he would bring it up next time but me wanting to walk away from the marriage that’s one of the reason, and plenty other reasons. I have my own therapist but my husband is African he doesn’t believe in that he believe he’s always right he don’t need anybody to advise him on anything. I care about my mental health and lately sex is just not it bringing up something that turns me off during sex just traumatize me

That's interesting! From what I've seen, many African men are quite traditional when it comes to certain aspects of intimacy, especially regarding their own boundaries relating to their anus. Have you had a chance to talk to him about why he keeps making this request? It seems a bit contradictory that he doesn’t believe in therapy but is asking for something so specific. If his sexual needs aren’t being met, there are definitely other ways to approach things that could be comfortable for both of you.

Oh my gosh he should NOT be pressuring you to do any of that. He's taking advantage of you as you were a virgin and making you feel like you should do those acts but these seem more like the acts of homosexual men with the focus of the bum so much. I know Some straight girls don't mind doing that stuff but i don't think that is common at all. I've never done that with my husband and if he asked me to lick his bum I think I'd run away 😂😭 definitely tell him to go explore his fantasies elsewhere, divorce him because there are many good men who would be happy to have amazing sex without the bum stuff!! Xx

Wow . That lot. Maybe he thought you change your mind and keep asking and he's curious...I know guys watch porn and getting to woman's bum is a thing there and they think all women love it or just white women?] No idea but different men of all cultures really think its a thing, because the hole is tight..I would think it hurts their penis.. unless the vag area is too loose for them..I don't know. Its painful stiff... it's enough to give birth and they want to destroy the Anus too.. a woman's private parts get so loose and ruined the more kids she has. The bum, the vaginal, the everything and bladder. Guys only see their curiosity or urges.. do u have kids w him? Kinda sad especially they think nothing of it to keep asking until u do

I was in a very similar situation in my first marriage, so I can relate and I’m so sorry you’re going through this! If you’re considering divorce, I’m inclined to say that’s probably for the best… for me it only got worse over time, eventually we divorced, and in hindsight many years later I recognize my experience as marital rape. I’m still not entirely over that trauma and wish I had left sooner. My new husband is so much better and more respectful and doesn’t want any of that - so there ARE good men out there, we just got unlucky picking icky ones