I'm scared that my toddler is just a bad kid

What age is he? Also when he does something violent do you explain why he cannot do that because it hurts people, what’s his reaction because the main concern (for this like sociopathic type disorders) would be if he smiled or showed zero remorse or understanding about how his actions hurt someone when it’s explained to them . All toddlers have poor impulse control and occasionally hurt people but the difference is that there should be some type of understanding and feeling bad on their part when you explain that they’re hurting someone. Also if you just teach them not to be violent by taking away a toy or reinforcing a consequence without explaining why they can’t do that just because it’s unkind and hurts people then you’re not teaching empathy and kindness just cause and effect

Mines 2 years old almost 3 and I really hope its a damn phase cuz he's alot. He does great around other kids but it's home he struggles with.

How exactly do you want your toddler to behave? What is a ideal day consist of, with him acting in the way that pleases you?

My boy went thru this. All I can say is time out and take his favourite toy away he’ll soon learn that hitting if any kind is unacceptable. I always taught my boy from a young age that you do good things you get good things and do bad things lose good things. He’s 5 now and still has his moments. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way

Some kids just have waaaay more energy. It might be ADHD, are you making sure he gets outside play for 3+ hours a day? Swimming class or just running around in the park. You also might want to watch his diet and cut out as many sugars as you can and also reduce screen time. Some kids get really affected by even a tiny bit or sugar and get extremely hyper from tv.

Mine walks around and smacks people too. I just play with him or ignore him x

My son is like this is many ways but I wouldn’t personally call him violent. I wouldn’t refer to any child this way particularly- a toddler. I have read several books on toddler development so I’m more aware of what he’s going through internally and otherwise. As others have mentioned to you it’s a phase that they should grow out of as they exit toddlerhood and are able to communicate their needs more effectively etc. I have noticed a stark difference in my son’s behavior from the age of 2 up to now, at 3. I noticed also that his behavior began to be a bit more to manage at 18 months. For me it’s gotten better over time and while it’s still not the best as he’s still developing it is a lot better than it was when he was a terrible two 🫠. A lot of consistency with addressing certain behaviors that need to be addressed immediately goes a long way I’ve found.

I also have a background in working with kindergartens and older children but not a huge background in working with preschoolers so it was definitely a surprise to me how they carry on at times . But as I stated above reading up on them helps immensely. It allows an in on what they’re trying to cope with and manage for themselves -internally 💕💕

Could he possibly be sensory seeking? Some children have higher sensory needs and it can show through hitting, pushing or other ways where they just want to touch. They tend to come across as very high energy and usually like to jump, run and climb a lot as well 😊

If you’re interested this book that I’ve personally found to be very helpful. It Is a best seller that goes over in detail their behavior and what they’re going through and -how to manage them effectively at various stages of development https://a.co/d/21WBkss

Agree with all above. But also little boys do need an outlet to blow off steam. Do you take him to parks or any activities that require a decent amount of energy? I don’t know where you live, but I put my son in an indoor soccer program at 18 months. It’s not like real soccer games at that age, but they run around, kick the ball, etc. Could be something to look into.

Could be ADHD. That doesn't make him a bad kid. All toddlers have low impulse control but ADHD makes impulse control even harder.

My nephew is super hyper and just naturally more daring and violent. Turns out he has ADHD. Don’t panic though, you just need to keep him busy. It’s their way of self regulating. They have a harder time listening but as long as you are consistent with your boundaries, you should be okay. You got this mama.

@Autumn he's 2.5. We explain every time but he either rushes through with "sorry sorry sorry sorry" or he doesn't seem to show remorse.

@Raven I want him to not be violent.

@Hind no we live in an upstairs apartment with only a small balcony and no shared lawn. I'm still kinda adjusting to our new baby so haven't felt really up to taking them out in the cold. He doesn't get much sugar and yeah TV has been a thought. Yesterday we did no tv but unfortunately it was still rough

He is a toddler. I have a toddler - they pretty much repeat everything they hear. And copy everything they see the people around them do. Or what ever they see on the tablet- if you do that. There are no bad toddlers. Give him time and grace to understand the concepts of things. You comparing you toddlers understanding of life (less than 3 years) - to your understanding of life ( u have decades of experience)

@Raven he doesn't have a tablet. At best we watch like one movie or Ms Rachel. And it's always Cars or Tangled. I'm clearly out here asking for help because I'm struggling. I don't expect him to be perfect but I'm really really exhausted from being kicked. He's a HUGE toddler and he's genuinely injured me many times. He hurts other kids too.

@Donna see I did infant and toddler development classes and read tons of books and I'm still lost in the dark

@Emma I have wondered this. He is extraordinarily high energy. And I've been told by a ton of people that they think he's extremely smart. I have wondered if the combination makes him misbehave more often out of a need for stimulation

@Brittany we are about to start soccer next summer. He's a smidgen too young. I know he needs more of an outlet than an apartment can give

@Sally lol that does kinda make me panic 😅

That would make sense 😊 He might just need more stimulation. And he is also still very little and trying to figure out how the world works and experimenting with cause and effect. I don’t believe there are any kids that are inherently bad! It is a bit too early to suspect a neurodivergence such as adhd as young children are naturally very energetic and impulsive. Some more than others. 🤷🏻‍♀️

For my sensory seeking daughter we have bought a small trampoline that she uses daily! She also loves her little ”stepping stones ” and balance beams that we got from amazon. My husband likes building her obstacle courses with the stepping stones and trampoline in her bedroom and finishing it with a big crash into the bed! She absolutely loves it! If you have the space/ability you could get a swing for the house or if you have a yard. It usually helps sensory seekers calm down a bit. You could also put a sheet down on the floor, have him lay down in the middle, pick up the corners and swing him yourself. It provides a nice sensory input by the sheet hugging his body tightly and then also the swinging sensation on top of that. 😊

Do you give artificial colors in their food? I’ve read kids can act up from artificial dyes and colors.

@Emma those are good ideas. We live in an apartment but probably will just need to find good ways to utilize the space for more physical movements

@Christina🤱🏼🍂☕️♈️ not really. He maybe has some dye every once in a while at a birthday party but I'd say overall it's incredibly rare. He mostly just likes fruits, vegetables, meats, some carbs like pasta.

Haven’t read it - but there’s a book called ‘no bad kids’ - maybe that could help change your perspective - a book I have read and would highly recommend is ‘no such thing as naughty’ by Kate Silverton - really helped me

I live in an apartment as well but we spend up to 3-4 hrs a day outside. I take my toddler to the playground before naptime and before dinner We do exercises together too. My apartment is rather large though. Almost 1200 sq ft. Bubbles are a fun way to get sensory play on and to help relief stress for you. I used to blow bubbles all the time when I taught preschool to reset myself and the kids. lol

@Christina🤱🏼🍂☕️♈️ it's just been challenging with the new baby who seems super angry whenever we leave our home 🤦🏼‍♀️

Aah so this all makes sense now. He could be sensory and attention seeking with the new baby

Talk to his doctor but it sounds like he might have ADHD . Cause my son is always on the go and sometimes with make things violent before I tell him to stop but most times he's running or trying to jump off things he not spouse to and he's 6 years old mind u I have ADHD and my son's dad has ADHD and it's in our bloodline .

Awww, don’t panic! Most Toddlers with ADHD are super clever! They do tend to do things on their own terms, but trust me; they usually have photographic memory. When he starts going school, you will start to realise how advanced they are compared to their peers. They brains go 100 miles per hour, so they tend to get bored really easy. They are also very assertive and courageous. They will be that kid that doesn’t allow anyone to get bullied. They will stand up to injustice. They are also the most caring ones. Very empathetic towards other even though he can flip very easy. Don’t look at it as a bad thing and don’t over think it. Just make sure you are also firm with your no’s or they will walk all over you. It will also change you for the better. Enjoy this moment. He will teach you something the world can’t. Hope that helps

@Christina🤱🏼🍂☕️♈️ this occurred well before baby unfortunately. I wish it was that simple.

@Neisa well we do have an appointment next week for being 2 and a half. So we will be talking with her about his behavior

If you're concerned for your child's behaviour you need to address 1 or 2 things... is he neuro diverse where he would benefit from specialist support or is his behaviour environmental where parenting support would help

@Rachel well we will be talking with his doctor at his next appointment, but I honestly don't....think he is. Like he is almost too charismatic....bordering on cult leader type. But then...wildly hits.

With this much info I’d suggest putting him in an outdoor preschool assuming he’s preschool aged. And talk to the pediatrician.

Neuro diversity is a huge spectrum and having some skills wouldn't rule out issues in other areas. Even strategies without any diagnosis can be really helpful. Speaking with your doctor is a great start. It's important to understand that the child is not the 'issue', behaviour has many influences that they're not displaying on purpose

Have you thought about any form of martial arts? They’re wonderful at teaching body control and using your energy in certain ways. Plus it takes discipline and practice