Ik it’s a lot to read but advice would be nice to hear rn.

So I currently live with my spouse and his parents and sibling (little brother) & sister who I care and love very much. There great people. My partner and I, we have a 1 single bedroom with a bathroom which was fantastic until I found out I was Pregnant and I’m worried that with this baby coming we might need a little more space for the crib etc. When we got this house 3 years ago my father in law turned the garage into a little studio but my father in law and mother in law decided to give it to my sister in law and her partner at the time. Long story short my sister in law (who is my age 24) and her partner are no longer together they haven’t been for about 2 years. so she’s has trouble paying her portion of the rent most of the time and on time , she always on this side of the house anyways, showering, sleeping, chillin here majority of the time. Don’t get me wrong she a cool girl , but most of the time she’s very inconsiderate and I over heard her say that if we switch than she rather move out. Which idk if thats the reason why I feel my in-laws kind of brush it off. I honestly feel that even though were the same age her mindset and head space is very different than mine and I also feel that she very, very immature most of the time. I just feel that sometimes it can be a lot because I’m sure like almost of us money is tight so also living here I’m very mindful that when I buy food or groceries or cook I don’t just buy or cook my partner and I , I buy/ cook for all. Or sometimes it’s hard for my partner and I to have a good time together or even relax together because his parents sometimes ask for him wether it’s with money or rides or just always knocking on our , they sometimes enter or space when we’re not here etc. I’m starting to feel like I’m not just in a relationship with my partner but all of them idk if I’m wrong for feeling some type of way I don’t want to be mean or rude about it neither. My partner has talked to his parents about us moving back there and her coming here. But I feel they just brush it off and idk if I should say something , if it’s my place to say something , or what should I even say. My partner and I go back and forth sometimes because I just try to explain to him that it’s only fair. Because when our baby comes I know there going to be crying and us having to make noise and restless nights and I don’t want them to be bother because they still work his brother still goes to school but most of all I just want us to be comfortable and be able to do our duties without feel in that we walking on our tippy toes. Like for example , she made a joking remark like she’s going to be charging us for every dish we leave in the sink , yet I do actually clean up after myself and my partner after we eat or cook. Or she made a comment “ oh my you guys have a lot of clothes “ almost judging. When my spouse went to go wash. ( i do want to mention my partner is amazing he helps us and me out so much , he does stand up for us and in a respectful way, I just don’t think there really understanding. )

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Soo just to clarify this is your house?

@Ariel it would be the in-laws

Maybe rather than focusing to try to move to the other space, it could be worth having a talk with everyone about boundaries so you can make your space work for you better. If it makes you feel any better, I also have been in a situation with my (stubborn) parents living in their house with a bedroom and bathroom my sons whole life and it's been working extremely well. If you pay for your space, it's worth saying you are permitted to put up a lock they don't have the key to If they continue to enter without express permission or good reason. That was the trickiest thing for me, but my parents realized why I needed that boundary and dealt with it. Moving furniture around will usually help any standard bedroom space work for a bassinet/crib in addition to a full or queen bed. Another thing i had to do was say really clearly that hormones during my pregnancy had me in a bad headspace, even though that was a lie at the time, to make it clear that they needed to be less judgy to my face or trust my actions

@Olivia your right , I like your point of view thank you so much 🫶🏻

Of course, don't hesitate to message me if you need. That time was so tricky for me and I know I wished I just had someone to throw a rant at once in a while ❤️

@Jen my father in law is main the owner my boyfriend and I pay rent and utilities

If you’re paying some portion of rent, I think it’s reasonable to calmly voice your frustrations and have conversations about how a baby would affect the dynamic of the house. If you feel that the baby would strain the relationships, it might be worth considering moving out so you don’t have to dictate how other people in your household live or how you live around them. If you have no choice but to live there due to financial strains, it might be worth shifting your perspective and not focus on the negatives— because after all, everyone in your house is accommodating to each other. Shift your focus on how you can have a humble conversation with your family about your concerns. It seems that you care a lot of about them and their comfort.. so just start by stating that ultimately preserving your relationship is important to you and that you realize that sometimes rooming with other adults can sometimes brew resentment and that’s the last thing you want.

Make a short list of nonnegotiables and ask if that’s something your other family members can accommodate to … but also ask them if they can think of ways that your little family can also reasonably do to help ease any of their frustrations of co-living. I bet you’ll be surprised at how cooperative your family may be!

Just move out and live your own place. Period. If you worries so much about in law this or that . All simple do is move out and get your own place that you and your partner able afford.

@Cassandra Laguna like I haven’t thought of such a thing if that was the case , that would have been done along time ago. that’s way easier said than done for some. It’s a work in progress that’s why im on here seeing my options. And my in laws are not my worries there lovely , just needed a suggestion on how to communicate with them. Thank you though 🙏🏻.

@Jen thank you I like your point of views 💪🏻🩷

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