Tired

:/ I’m sorry you’re facing this. How come they’re not sleeping longer than 2 hours ? I thought as they get older their sleep stretches longer… that’s what my pediatrician told me. My son sleeps for 3 hours at a time currently.

@Shazia overnight he doesn’t go longer than 2 hours without needing to be cuddled or fed back to sleep 🥲 maybe 3 if we’re lucky! It’s a struggle

So sorry you’re going through this. Honestly the only way you’re going to get some sleep is to either sleep Train or wean the baby. I didn’t sleep train but had to wean. Is baby already on solids? If so start weaning on night milk. They really don’t need to feed that often. It could take about a week or 2 of just letting the baby cry and they will stop waking up.

@@Jennhe is exploring solids but I don’t think he is getting many calories because he hardly eats them. I get worried that I’m holding him back developmentally because he doesn’t get enough sleep to learn new things but idk what else to do!!! I thought I was doing the right thing by always answering to his cries and feeding him for comfort but now I feel like I’ve taught him to wake up so often and it’s going to be super hard to night wean with how often he eats

@Chantelle you're doing a good job, mama. Babies need their mamas, and they don't recognize themselves as a separate person until they're about nine months old. Breathe, you'll get through this! When my son was this way, I'd wrap him up in one of my shirts I'd worn for a few days in a row. Your scent is super calming to baby, which is why they seek you out. You are that sweet baby's safe place, and you're doing a good job.

;( i think if you're breastfeeding it could be the norm? Try doing formula? That's a lot of sleep loss for you :(

My 4 week old wake every hour, maybe less. And she stays awake forever. She might have a intolerance to some foods and I’m so exhausted I don’t even know how I still make it through the night and day

You can start night weaning at 6 months. You can still respond to Their needs when they cry without feeding them. When I was night weaning my son, I’d still respond to his cries and sooth him but I did not feed him. You can replace milk with water and soon enough they will get the message that mom will cuddle you but there won’t be milk and soon enough your baby will start waking up less and less. Try one feed at a time or go cold turkey. Just make sure baby has a good dinner or a large 6-8 oz of milk.

Thank you @Jenn ❤️ I think I find myself doing whatever is quicker at night and feeding calms him down right away but it’s biting me in the little g run lol!

@Chantelle been there. But you gotta do the hard stuff. It’s also good for him. My son ended up gaining so much weight from me constantly feeding him.

@Jenn im sure it would be beneficial for him to actually get uninterrupted sleep!! Poor guy looks as tired as me lol 😂

@Chantelle you are NOT holding him back by comforting him back to sleep. It’s biologically normal for an infant to seek comfort to sleep. Sleep training will only cause emotional issues later. Not worth it. Have you tried an earlier bedtime? That has helped my baby get a decent stretch (some nights) of up to 4 fours. Waiting for longer too 😂

@Chantelle waking numerous times at night is preventative to SIDS- so yes it’s tough, but it’s so so normal and you are doing such wonderful things for your baby’s future mental health by meeting his needs. Can you take a nap with him during the day? That has helped me a lot on days I’m extra exhausted. You’re doing amazing work momma!

@Claire how come sleep training isn’t recommended ? I hear so many conflicting things about this 😞 my LO is only 1 month old and 3 weeks currently. I thought sleep training is beneficial in future so that they aren’t harder to put in their own room later?

@Shazia sleep training is a personal Choice and what method you use is what’s more important. Also you have a long way to go before sleep training. 4-6 months is the recommended time. I personally choose not to sleep train and my LO is 20 months, suffice to say I regret it 😂. He won’t sleep unless I rock him to sleep.

@Shazia look into the research done by Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, her book The Nurture Revolution. She cites many resources that show that sleep training (all of which will require some form of crying it out and not calming baby) causes baby’s cortisol levels to spike, and enlarges their hippocampus and amygdala. Meaning as they get older, they are more reactive to stress. Meaning easily stressed, easily depressed, easily anxious. She is a great resource and has lots of research on this! But overall hearing your baby crying alone in a room is upsetting to basically ALL mothers. We are denying our intuition to nurture by ignoring cries. Our intuition is rarely wrong.

@Claire - thank you ❤️ it’s comforting to hear and I know in my heart I can’t be hurting him by comforting him I just feel like he would be a happier baby with better night time sleep! I’m sure eventually he will get into a groove. I am thankful day time sleep is pretty on point. Thought about maybe cutting that back but it really seems like he needs 3.5 ish hours of sleep during the day in order to stay happy. I shoot for a 7:30 bed time, what about you guys?

I would seriously look into finding the right sleep training technique that you wish to use. I sleep trained my son when he was 6 months old because I wasn’t sleep a wink due to him constantly needing me. I stayed in the room with him for a full week supporting him to fall asleep without needing my boob in his mouth. He did so well and he’s now 7 and has been thriving ever since. It’s an absolute game changer. It doesn’t mean you can’t help support baby to calm as naturally it’s a big change for them. Babies cry when they are learning something new, but we can always be there to support them.

Can dad help with nights?

@Jenn it’s not too late :)

@Claire this makes sense and that’s why I’m too scared to sleep train my LO when he’s older… I’m scared and worried of what that will do to him mentally in the future. I also don’t want to hear him crying in the room alone I don’t think I can mentally handle that! That’s why idk what form of sleep training to do 😭 I just don’t want in the future that he won’t be able to sleep on his own

@Nicola how did you do sleep training? Yours doesn’t sound like it involved “crying it out” and I honestly don’t even wanna do that technique the crying it out

@Shazia I always made sure I followed awake windows and had a consistent routine with him, and I made sure I didn’t make him sleepy / drowsy with his last milk before bed. I would lay him in bed, awake, and would use my voice touch and occasionally picking him up to soothe. He was still upset, but he had me (or my husband) right there beside him offering him comfort. He was soo used to feeding to sleep that it was a big change for him, but the only time I left his side was when he was asleep, or when he woke at night I would give him about 5-7 mins to make sure he was really waking up and needing me, and not just yelling out in his sleep. It also gave him time to work on his sleep skills he was developing. Some babies get more stimulated by us ‘doing more’ to help calm them so you have to read the situation well. After a few nights my son never cried anymore 🥹

@Nicola and you didn’t have to do the “cry it out” method, right ? I really don’t like the sound of that method. Of leaving them in the room alone to cry. I can’t even begin to imagine putting my baby through that. But that’s what I hear sleep training is. My son he’s gonna be 2 months old this month, he gets sleepy after drinking his bottle. I’m thinking to sleep train by 5-6 months. I would want to do an approach like yours

@Shazia nope. Sleep training is allowing your child to fall asleep without needing all the extra help. There are a few different methods - of which ‘cry it out’ or extinction is only 1 of them which you definitely don’t have to choose. You can stay in the room with you baby, but they will most likely still cry. It’s ok though ❤️