Man advice...

Me and my partner split everything down the middle. Rent, bills, food - everything. His job is shift work and one week is never the same in regards to his shift patterns and days off, so I can't rely on him for childcare help. Because of this I'm having to reduce my hours to both work to pay my half of things, plus do the bulk of the parenting. He says he doesn't have the money to pay for childcare (or atleast his half of), and neither would I whether that's with full or part time work. He earns much more than I do, has two cars, his money is his own. I feel out of pocket, burnt out from doing all the parenting, and I have no idea whether it's even worth returning to work as we can't afford childcare. But I still have to pay for my half of things! It's all really confusing to me. I can't see the wood for the trees. Any advice would be great so I can gain some clarity... Thankyou x

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Personally I think bills should always be divided proportionally depending on earnings, including childcare. Especially when you have children together. Then it’s fair and you can hopefully both have a little bit of disposable income.

When I’m working I pay much less towards the bills but then I pay for the childcare. With me paying for childcare I still pay much less than my husband overall as he earns more so it’s more proportional. It works out that after bills and childcare we have a similar amount left each, this is different at the moment as I’m on SMP so don’t really have much money left each month, but this will hopefully change once I’m back at work!

Sounds like you need to reassess the way you split things. It’s not fair that you should have to reduce your hours and income if he isn’t willing to pay more towards the bills. I’d be wanting him to reassess his priorities also, is there a need for him to have two cars? You have a child now and sacrifices need to be made if that’s what it takes for him to pay his part towards childcare so you can return to work. He can also ask more set shifts at work to accommodate too, even if it was just a couple of set days a week maybe so you can perhaps work around them and save on some childcare costs. Pretty sure employers have to have a valid reason not to allow a little flexibility for these reasons or nobody would ever go to work after having a baby. Alternatively you stay at home full time and he pays the bills if he isn’t going to be flexible in any other way

My partner earns more than I do so he pays more towards the bills. We split it so after outgoings we both have the same amount of disposable income which we can spend however we want. It doesn't seem fair splitting it all 50/50 when you're a team xx

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