Frustration over kids fighting and dangerous behaviors
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OMG I can totally relate. I have two boys and they are both rough - same ages as yours. Every weekend when the 3 year old is home from school is a drama fest. I think the best thing to do (at least it works for me) is to get the kids out the house. Put them in the car and go somewhere. I like to go to the nearby library where they have a kids play area. To be honest I do not have it figured out. I’m pregnant with our 3rd and don’t have the energy most times to break up fights. Dad takes over for the most part. I’m interested in hearing what anyone else does …
Gentle parenting is not for every kid, some kids need a little tough parenting. My 2yrs old is is not for the weak, when he doesn’t listen or acts brat I let him cry, let him go through it, when I see that he’s done or tired, I talk to him and normally works. But sometimes my chanclas 🩴 comes handy or my deep monster voice works ALL THE TIME. No I don’t abuse my son, that’s how I discipline him and having a tough boy for a toddler is not a joke. My husband has no issue of my parenting strategy because he as will doesn’t want our kids to grow up being a brat or bullies in school. If my husband is home he does the scolding to my 2yrs old.
As a Filipino mom yelling is in our nature, we still apply that old fashion parenting.
@Jonah not the deep monster voice and chanclas 😂 … I totally get it. I threw gentle parenting out a while ago.
You need to set consequences in place like putting them in their room when they’ve hit their sibling, or no tele time (if you do that) no dessert etc! X
They might just need other outlets to get energy out. Playing outside more, etc. I don’t think kiddos that young need scolding, more like directing them and teaching them tools to help with the energy and big emotions. My 3 yr old will hit sometimes but asking him to go cool off in his room and play in there usually works. It took some time for him to learn to do that, he still throws things when he’s frustrated but will go to his room if I ask. It’s important not to make them feel outcast for making mistakes though, or making them feel less important than the other kid so staying calm is more helpful than losing our shit because they learn how to regulate by watching us. I’m still learning and get frustrated and so does my husband, but I thought I’d share what helps us! We do spank when he’s just being too much after we try the easy way first but that’s probably only once a week or less, but he was (still is) a rough toddler. It’s hard
First, you’re not a bad parent for yelling. If you want strategies I can share what I’ve tried since yelling isn’t particularly effective for my older son and it works for my 18 month old but if I do it often it loses something. So I save yelling for dangerous situations only to “snap them” out of it so they hear me if I can’t physically get to them in time
Also different kids/personalities need different styles so definitely don’t compare how others manage their kids online. For both, I try to catch them before they get rough -telling older one what baby brother would love, or to take a break. For younger one I sing a song about kind hands/feet/mouth. Maybe 30% of the time that works. When it doesn’t I try to catch the first kid and discipline. I discipline them separately. Little guy: put on steps near me and tell him when he shoes gentle hands he can come back (model how that looks) or redirect to a safe way to get his energy out like pushing the wall, throwing a ball, etc - depending on if he has excess energy or is acting out of anger/frustration
If little one is instigating I’d focus on redirecting and teaching him. I’m trying to teach my older one how to respond: when he bites-run away and get me; etc.
@Julia if my 2yrs old son hit my 5yrs. old step son I tell him to hit back. They’re both rough but my 2yrs old is just built different.
@Desiree I also am pregnant with my 3 😅 I try taking them out to my moms house but between 7-12 is when my 1 year old is exhausted but forcing herself to stay awake and turns into a scary baby Lol she is more aggressive than her older sister so she is the one that gets physical or "starts it" 99% of the time we live in an apartment but we are moving to a house soon so im planning on being outside in the backyard as much as possible 😅
Yesterday he was off of work and he was raising his voice at my 18 month old too when she kept getting on the couch jumping which I didn't intervene for But for some reason me doing it makes me a bad mom