Feeling overwhelmed, what do I do?
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@Macdalia he’s saying he can’t manage as he’s having pain all over his body (his main concern he says he’s having is left sided weakness at the moment). And that he’s trying to do things to recover so he won’t be able to
He needs to learn how to multitask. You’ve got enough on your plate. Until he goes to the doctor and gets a diagnosis and sits in the ER because he’s so concerned - tough it out cause you can’t do it all. Or can your kids take a trip to the in-laws for a little? Also have you concerned assisted living or hiring a caregiver for your parents?
Im a CNA and I see plenty of women (mainly) in your position trying to care for their parents and their kids and their husband and losing themselves. Something has to give. So your husband has to step it up. And you may need to hire help whether it’s for your parents or your kids or both. But your husband needs to be the help before you’re hiring. Or they need assisted living. Eventually someone somewhere is going to experience neglect which isn’t intentional but it’s literally too much for you to do alone. And that’s risky enough let alone the pressure it has you under.
@Macdalia unfortunately I’m the type to always put others first, but it’s just getting a bit too much. My in-laws want my husband to stay over at theirs to ‘relax and have space’. Meanwhile I’m the one doing everything but somehow as I am controlling myself I am seen as the one that’s fine. Which is understandable as he broke in front of them, I break behind closed doors so no one knows. He has been ER last week, and they did tests on what he was complaining at the time of. But it was normal and they sent him home. Now he keeps talking about going er again for the current problem he’s having (although the gp has referred him to relevant authorities, they take long and he thinks it’s more urgent). We won’t be able to afford helpers unfortunately and my siblings also say they have their own problems and won’t step up. In fact my older sister recently started telling me about her health problems and requesting me to go to her appointments but I said I can’t. I feel ba
I feel super bad, but I feel like I can’t take on anymore. As I have no one to take care of me but I’m expected to manage everyone’s health issues.
He can go to his parents and take the kids with him. At least one of em. It’ll still be a lot on you but less is better than all
@Macdalia will try and see, may be better for both of us. Thank you ❤️
Why can't in laws help with their grand kids ... makes sense.. unless they 700 years old
Oh my lord. I don’t know how u do it Is your husband actually freakin ill..
Has he tried sertraline for his anxiety? X
I'd get him.on meds to chill him out xx
It may take a few weeks but it's worked for my husband x
He had health anxiety too x The down sides are low sex drive and generally not as emotionally loving but you need to weigh the benefits right now x
@Karly I think it’s his health anxiety- although he doesn’t want to Accept
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@Kate how did your husband come into terms with accepting he has health anxiety? Mine keeps saying he’s not anxious- but he did have a panic attack due to health anxiety recently, and he accepts that it was because he was anxious. But denies he has it now. He says he has left side weakness/numbness and is thinking all Sorts and can’t sleep. He is also very against medicine, so it’s gonna be tough to get him to use anything if they prescribe
I wouldn’t be able to tolerate that! If he doesn’t wanna help himself. Like he’s pulling you down with him and you need support now. You deserve support! Just ticks me off
Can you explain why you can’t leave the kids with your husband? I understand he thinks everything is wrong with him, but unless he’s having real life symptoms of something, he needs to step it up.