Depression question

Did anyone start taking antidepressants after having their baby? Sensitive content involves miscarriage talk. I believe my depression actually began when I had my first miscarriage in 2020. This was a missed miscarriage during the first lockdown and it was quite traumatic. I went crazy for the first time in my life and I realise now I never really healed from it.. I haven't smiled or genuinely laughed since. My rainbow baby came two years after, when I thought I wasn't as anxious anymore. I believed I was better, but my entire pregnancy I had high level anxiety, health anxiety, and I burnt out. My pregnancy was difficult with HG as well and reoccurring severe vertigo. I was bed bound. Baby is perfect and healthy, but unfortunately had bad colic for about 7 months and I chose to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is difficult, but I found pumping and cleaning bottled more difficult. Essentially, my family said they'd help if we had children and turns out no one did anything at all. The most help I had was holding the baby once whilst I showed. I self-referred myself to therapy once I realised I cried every day and really thought damn I'm messed up. I have no libido but that kind of went after the miscarriage which is why I think I've been depressed for that long. I'm to scared to have tablets. My health anxiety ontop of the depression makes me nervous for all the side effects I've read, the sickness and lower libido (non existence then..) and higher anxiety. I think if my anxiety goes up anymore I will explode.

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I never took antidepressants after having a baby. But I did a few years ago and it’s not the solution, it makes you feel numb and the brain gets a bit foggy. So I’d imagine it’s not good while having a baby. I can’t imagine how you must feel and I’m sorry for your loss. It must be hard to get back on track but let me tell you it gets better, surround yourself with friends and people that make you feel good and support you. It’s not easy with a little one but maybe find a playground and be social with other mums, get help/tips from them.

That's what I'm afraid of, too. I already have brain fog and fatigue from the depression and it says things can get worst. Like the side effects of the tablets make it almost so similar to depression itself. I'm sorry you went through that :( I do not have many people like that at the moment, and trying to make friends or a connection is hard as I'm emotionless and apathetic. I can feel that I am not a joy to be with. I zone out, blank out, my words get mumble jumbled, and I just can sense I'm not good company. I don't have a good or loving family, only my husband, but I can feel he is finding it difficult to love me. He misses my smile, he just says I'm so cold all the time. I miss me too, I'm a shell of myself

I was diagnosed with pos natal depression around 14 months after my baby being born. I have low tolerance to sleeping aids or anti depressive medication so the doctor gave me some anti depressive medication in drops. It was a miracle to me and I don't feel drowsy at all.

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