Split custody/ allowance from baby’s dad

Not in a similar situation but pretty sure you don't have to provide receipts for everything you buy for the baby no one does that xxx

when i had split custody with my daughters father, he also would ask me for receipts for what i bought for my child with his child support. HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS!!!!!! Also it is very unfair that you are having to provide full transportation whenever he gets visitation, my ex and I would split the time (also a 3 hour travel) and we would drive and hour and a half each. If you both agree this marriage will not work, it is so important to come to an agreement and get lawyers involved so your rights are protected!

Legally you are not obliged to travel to him. A court would look at the whole situation. In relation to money, have you checked CMS?

Then do one month you travel then one month he travel enough time to save the money 🙄 I’d take him to court tbh

@Annabelle people do that when they do not trust that the mother is spending money on the child. Some court do ask to see bills from parents just to see what they buy if necessary.

The courts may ask - fair enough, but that doesn’t mean a father can hold the mother to account for every penny she spends. If you’re in the UK, worth getting some legal advice to clarify all your queries. Out of interest, how did you end up a 3 hour journey apart? Did he move away, or did you move away? Also, since you’re married, but now separated, it’s possible that he would be expected to pay you spousal maintenance, separate to child support. As I say, legal advice is likely advisable. Again, if you’re in the UK many Family Solicitors will give you an initial appointment for free to discuss your situation. And you can approach several if you want to discuss with various solicitors.

@Rosa he lives south, I have the blessing to have my mother in the uk too so I moved with her and siblings up north x but he takes that as an assumption that all my expenses will be covered by my mom and he’s not responsible for, but that’s so unfair for her and I can’t work unfortunately don’t have the right yet. Thanks definitely i will take your advice.

@Katherine to be honest I don’t know what’s a CMS x I’ll look in to it.

@Austyn thank you so much for the advice x We could do half way each but he argues he wants to have the most of the time with the baby and that involves staying with him at his, I live with mom atm and there’s no space for him to stay , and no one here wants him tbh.. Then he’ll say if I don’t provide receipts or come down to him with baby, we will stop supporting financially. I’ll speak definitely with some legal advisors ..

Yeh that’s not fair to assume that your expenses will be covered. The first year is potentially quite expensive especially as you’re just trying to get to grips with things. Again though if you live in the UK, you can maybe check if you are due to receive any financial support such as Universal Credit - not sure how it would apply for your situation (since you’re not allowed to work, I expect Universal Credit won’t be applicable either). But just so you are aware that it might be something for you to explore. So it may be worth calling the Citizen Advice bureau to check - your Health Visitor may be able to make a referral for you. Hope things improve for you!

ugh sounds all too familiar! I am so sorry you are having to experience this on top of your postpartum, this man needs to give you a break😓 unfortunately in this situation he doesn’t seem like the type to come to a sit down agreement and legal advisors would absolutely be in your best interest. And with you unable to work at the moment you definitely need his financial assistance😓 what a tricky situation. but i PROMISE with a custody plan in place and legally filed, it would have a set amount of child support he is unable to skip out on or he will have repercussions (also to mention im not in the UK so this is my US experience 😊) and it would also have a visitation plan in place. I hope your situation improves mama🩷 we’re rooting for you!!!

Contact Citizens advice. They will look at your whole situation including migration, how it works with your child and advise you of your rights. It doesn’t sound right, sounds like financial abuse. You could also try Women’s aid, who are a charity who help women in abusive situations. He is in a powerful position because if his financial position and I feel like he is abusing this. But I am not a legal expert and you’re best going to people who are knowledgeable about these things.