@Ashby I know! I just hate the fact that women will have space in his head if just looked at. Like, I see sexy man on the street or social media but i don't need to distance myself like that because I don't think about themđ like come on, I drive him absolutely mad in bed, why is there even space for more? He was trying to drill into me that it has nothing at all to do with how satisfied he is with me. But for me as a woman it doesn't make sense
Girl, ask a therapist with an open mind. My therapist honestly put me in my place and reminded me that these thoughts can be natural, so long they donât take it too far. Itâs 100% okay to think others are attractive, and I KNOW itâs hard to live with that. You canât tell me you have not once thought about other men and how attractive they *can* get. Women, everywhere, are attractive. If men everywhere were attractive, your man would be in your position right now fighting for his life. He deleted his socials and was so very honest with you babe, thatâs a good man. My ex did it all behind my back and couldnât even excuse it properly.
He has a porn addiction, my husband has one as well. He used to watch TikTok girls and Onky Fans before he met me and since heâs met me and Iâve set the boundary that I am not okay with that, he has tried not to watch it. By that I mean he messed up twice, I caught him when we first started dating still having Only Fans cause he didnât delete it. He unfortunately left that option open. Saw how much it hurt me and deleted it. Then again recently but with TikTok, I caught him he tried to hide it (bad choice) and he again knew he fucked up and chose to delete it because he chose my wellbeing over that. I deleted it in front of him after he asked me to. Your husband needs therapy. To talk about the problem, to not download things that would have him lust ir emotionally cheat. Ignore the ones saying itâs okay. ITS OK to hate it. Itâs okay to NOT want it. Itâs crazy theyâre telling you youâre wrong.
@Lynn were human, of course itâs natural. It doesnât make it okay, youâre married. You shouldnât Lust for another woman or a man. I personally do not have these thoughts about other men, I have self control. I can admit one is attractive and move on, I do not sit on it and imagine things I would do. If itâs bad enough to where he admits itâs occupying a lot of his time and mind. Thatâs not okay, luckily he did tell her and he deleted his socials but if itâs so bad he has to therapy for HIM is needed. She just needs to set a boundary explaining what she doesnât like and what they need to work on together. As a human being itâs natural to lust, as a married man, you need better self control and to not look at other women. Your duty is to your wife not your own desires.
@Ashby Hi, my husband used to have a porn addiction before me but since we're together he never watched it and always keeps a distance from women. But I didn't know that it requires "self control" of him for that.
@Ashby Yeah. I just believe him in him telling me that that was not THE reason why he deleted it and why he spent so much time on it but because he was addicted to social media in general and watching a lot instead of doing more for his own life. But yes, addiction is still addiction
@Ashby idk how you gathered that Iâm apparently married in my comment lol
@Lynn i said âyouâre marriedâ as in ops husband, or for example anyone that is married. Not YOU exactly, I shouldâve found a better way to phrase that, but my point was when youâre married thereâs different expectations.
This is why I don't date men who are on socials. Alternatively if they were I used their socials to see what type of person they were and never saw positives. I think men should not have so much time on their hands to just idle away on socials and aren't even making money off it. I hope you can manage to resolve this issue. It's alot. X
â
â
â
â
â
â
â
â
â
â
â
â
I mean you should be glad he deleted it but he should keep it deleted. My husband just deleted TikTok bc TikTokâs of women kept popping up and it caused problems with us so he chose us over lust. I get jealous too and it hurts me.