Am I Being Weird MIL wanting to take baby out all the time
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My MIL is better than most too but I don’t like ANYONE taking my baby. There is NOTHING wrong with feeling that way. You can say no.
Valid to feel a little hesitant to trust someone who isn’t listening to you about your own child. I have the same instinct and my daughter is almost 4 😂
If your MIL isn’t being safe (or what you consider to be safe), I’d suggest alternate arrangements for her to see your daughter. Also you need to be more firm on boundaries. Next time she shows up exactly at naptime, tell her, “I’m sorry, but baby’s naptime is right now. I asked you to come by at X time so you could see her before naptime. So you’ll have to see her a different time.”
My daughter is 2 & I don't allow anyone to take her out & about yet. Your mil is how I envision my mil would be if she took my daughter out so she's never had her alone, likely never will lol. You can say no if you're uncomfortable, it's your baby & your feelings are valid even if mil doesn't understand. Also she doesn't listen or respect boundries, that's enough for me to say no.
My baby is 13 months and I have a great relationship with miL bit no one take my baby out. I'm just not comfortable at all for that.
there's no valid reason for anyone to persist on taking your baby out alone. She is doing it purely so she can cross boundaries without you correcting her. Trust your instinct and remember its your baby! No one is entitled to your children
You are not being unreasonable. But as you've said she is otherwise lovely on this occasion I would advise nicely asking her to respect your boundaries... ie, start by saying thanks for all she does etc and then without using the word "but" move on to requesting that she doesn't arrive early or ask to take baby etc and explain why and the impact this has. X
You are not wrong to feel this way if your cousin says no didn’t say no. No is a full sentence. You don’t need to explain yourself. If she gets defensive name the reasons you feel unsure and no matter how much reassurance she thinks she can give you it’s not enough to just change your mind
Your baby your rules. It doesn't matter who the person is. Family don't get a free pass just because they are family. Be very clear about your rules and if she doesn't follow them then explain that it makes you uncomfortable if the person that you are trusting your baby with can't do what the mother is asking so you will need to stop the trips out. She may fall in line. She is basically taking the piss and unless you call her on it this will continue
Thank you guys for your advice I feel better and I’m going to try the things you’ve said! Just the other day I posted this I asked her to come at 3 and she texts my hubby saying “oh I’ll come for 1?” I’m like ur not a child that asks mum and hears no then asks dad 😂😂 we’re both gonna give u the same answer 😑 so she does take the piss
*MIL shows up at 1:00* You: Hi, MIL! I guess you're here to take out LO. Unfortunately, she's just about to be put down for a nap, so going out isn't an option right now. You're welcome to either wait here until she wakes up or come back at {insert time here}." MIL: ExCePtIoNs ArE oKaY. You: No, I'm sorry, they're not. Missing nap time makes LO cranky, and then, she's up all night. (Side note: it doesn't matter if it's true or not, lol.) If she responds with anything other than complete respect for your boundaries, firmly tell her that she will not be taking your child out at all today, and you are done discussing it. And if she persists, she will not ever take your child out again.
Nothing wrong with saying No. My kids didn’t spend time alone with them until my kids can talk clearly and let me know if something was wrong. (Like age 2.5-3)
I know it’s hard and I know how you feel. I think training your mil will help if you can do it in a gentle manner and also leave her grace to show you she can do it. You’re very lucky to have support and love but I know sometimes overbearing mil can be annoying.