Lost for words

So long story short, my mil is manipulative and controlling. She wants to control our lives and has done everything since our daughter was born almost 4 years ago. To say a few things, she would call hospital behind my back questioning my daughter’s care - not her place!!!! She would turn up at our window uninvited when I’d just given birth and this would be multiple times per day, she would try to buy different nappies because she wasn’t happy with the ones we chose to use etc. she is a nasty awful manipulative person. We’ve had lots of run ins about her overstepping with the kids but she just says it’s ’her right as a grandparent to do what she wants’ - yeah right!!!! Anyway, I decided a year ago that it was affecting my mental health too much and I would keep her at arms length so instead of stressing myself out about doing days out and prepping for bad days with her, I would keep my distance but when she’d ask to come round in the week, I’d still never say no. This meant my in laws would text once a week and ask if they could pop to see the kids. This was fine and I’ve never said no. It used to make me anxious as she’d come and start hinting about me not being good enough and the house not looking how she’d want it etc but I let that go over my head and let them come weekly (longest stretch of them not seeing the kids would be once ever 2 weeks). Anyway they’ve now started a huge family row because my daughter had a dance competition this weekend and I didn’t ask them come (judgemental & cause an atmosphere and quite frankly she’s our daughter and me and my partner didn’t want her there spoiling the day with her negativity). They kicked up a fuss and started to shout, rant and ask for money back asap (which previously they said don’t worry about paying back. It was borrowed to cremate our kitten when he passed suddenly a few years ago and not a lot maybe £200). I’ve had ENOUGH!!!! My partners had ENOUGH!!! We’re trying to get on with our lives and just enjoy our children but we are constantly waiting for the next power move from her. This is all because she keeps insisting I don’t go round to theirs and my partner rather brings my daughter alone (by the way I have 2 children and my second never gets a mention so this was part of our argument yesterday too that my son constantly gets pushed to aside), or she has my daughter on her own and won’t stop until she gets this. They started this argument yesterday in front of our two children and therefore I kicked them out of the house. My partner was at work but wasn’t best pleased and actually told them they’re not seeing the kids anymore. He said once a week coming round should be more than enough as it’s not up to them what happened with the kids and where they go etc. but they are pushing and pushing still saying we’re in the wrong. I think the issue is they’ve never come and changed nappies or helped with general care. They come round with loads of gifts for the kids have a little 10 minute play and then leave! Then expect to have them whenever they wish and I’m the bad person for not trusting her. She’s dying for control over our children and doesn’t like it that we won’t let her. Even her own family members tell me that she would never bring my kids home if she had them only on her watch etc and I’m not risking that so simple she’s never having them and we don’t need her to either. So we got a message last night which is the final straw, she’s going to make a court order to see the kids. I’m baffled and absolutely distraught. The last thing she will get is access to my children alone so she can pull them on stings like puppets!!! She’s even admitted to another family member she wants them on her own so she doesn’t have to answer to me or follow my rules. There’s been loads of occasions and loads more that’s happened but too much to go into but I had a day out at the farm with her last year and she chucked her bag at me to ‘look after’ and said she was taking my daughter on the slide. 40 minutes later I found her after frantically running everywhere for them. She’d only took her round the farm and off the actual farm park and didn’t think to even tell me where they were going!!!