PPD or is this normal?

I was never depressed before pregnancy and birth so I’m not sure if this mood is normal or not. I feel like ever since baby turned 2 months old (currently 10 months) I seem to have no patience. Any little thing that doesn’t go as expected, I have this firey frustration in me where I just wanna blow up. For example- diaper changes not going smoothly, won’t accept bottle immediately sometimes, always needing to be carried by ONLY mama, hair pulling/biting all just set me off. I am a SAHM and I do have a MIL who will watch her for a few minutes at a time and takes her on a walk almost every day while I go shower but sometimes those breaks just aren’t enough. Of course I have many moments where I am in love and amazed by my baby but literally any little thing that doesn’t go as expected can set me off and I start getting a bit aggressive with her. I never hit her or intentionally harm her but sometimes I’ll pick her up roughly out of frustration. And I feel guilty for having these feelings. Not sure if I should get PPD help or just learn to manage these feelings better.
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I can totally understand, the mom rage is something I was not expecting at all. I would talk to someone PPA/PPD is super common and normal and there is help. There is no reason to try and force your way through it alone.

You should get PPD help.

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