Can’t go on like this - long read but needed to get this off my chest

I can’t do this anymore. I’ve had a really rough year. Awful pregnancy, premature/NICU baby, cancer scares. I have a very emotional 3 year old who has to sleep in my bed otherwise she wakes every 20 mins. My son is most likely in the 4 month regression as he’s just turned 4 months corrected age. He’s had non stop health issues, CMPI, severe reflux, gastrointestinal issues which are still being solved, he needs to be referred to a London hospital, he’s been in hospital with RSV which was the scariest thing to see as he was instantly intubated when he was born. It’s been rough. But now I’m at my wits end. My son is waking 15+ times a night, I’m putting the dummy in what seems like a million times, he’s got a mix of tummy pain, teething and regression, my 3 year old has night terrors and doesn’t sleep through. I’m getting 3 hours at most a night and have been for months and it’s getting worse. As a result, it’s making me poorly. Even the GP has said I’m going to end up in hospital but what am I supposed to do? I have no help, I cannot sleep when baby sleeps because he doesn’t bloody sleep at night despite sleeping through from 4 weeks! And now it’s like this every night. He usually contact naps so I can’t sleep with him on me and if he cot naps then I can’t sleep because I know it’ll only be 30 mins. I hate who I’m becoming, sleep deprivation is killing me. To top things off, me and my partner have been holding off separating until after Christmas for the kids and although he doesn’t help much, I’ll be doing this completely alone. I’m going insane. The only thing keeping me going is the smile on my kids faces, otherwise I don’t think I would last much longer. I don’t see a way out of this or light at the end of the tunnel. My 3 year old has slept through the night about 5 times in her life. I can’t do it all again. Please someone tell me it gets better. My son used to sleep through, I’ve never prayed so much for something. I need him to come out the other end and go back to being a good sleeper 😭😭😭😭😭

Show your support

I'm so sorry that you're going through this horrid time, you're doing an incredible job! And I have nothing but praise for you. I'm sure if all of us mums could help we sure would! Have you got any other family to help? Even if it's just to take care of the one child? They could stay with you for a week/couple of days? Us mums deep down know that it will always get better, but we are constantly thinking when. When things get tough I just remind myself that I'm sleep deprived, and if I wasn't so tired that things would be better as you would be able to have the patience and feel all round better day to day. I hope that you can receive some sort of help and things get a little easier for you. Feel free to inbox me to vent or even just to have a chat! Big hugs x

Hello lovely just want to say I am so incredibly sorry you’re going through this and feeling this way. May I ask where abouts you are from? Reason being I don’t mind travelling to you (within distance up to 1hour 30 ish) to help even if it’s for the day so you can get sone sleep? Let me know lovely I know how hard it is but I can’t even imagine for you. Also had your partner family got any involvement? You could even ask them if needs be if that’s an option. Jsut know that it won’t be like this forever, I know at moment if feels it but thetr really is light at the end of the tunnel , please just hold on a little bit longer and this struggle will all be a distant memory. You’re super mum please remember how truly amazing you really are to your babies ❤️

And be kind to yourself mummy, you’re doing absolutely amazing

I cannot imagine what you are going through. Would early weaning help with reflux and sleep maybe? If you are around the Birmingham area I could come help you if you want. I am going out of the country soon for the holidays but I can maybe help before or after I am back xx

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry to hear all this. As per the above comments, please say where abouts you are and us Peanut mums can lend a hand. I’m Southampton based and would gladly come over for a play date so that you can have a rest! I’m so sorry that you’ve had such a rough time.. I really hope you’ve got some close friends or family who can help xx

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌