Are moms actually truthful about the struggles of motherhood?
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I think people sugarcoat the truth too, or make it sound better! I’ve found when people say their kids “sleep through” they mean they sleep from like 11pm-5am. Which isn’t sleeping through 🤷♀️ my daughter has NEVER slept through the night, and she’s 14 months. They go through so much the first couple of years; illnesses/teething/regression after regression. But people seem to think after 5/6 months babies will magically sleep through, which definitely isn’t the case for a lot of babies
I find most are very honest. However, when my little one was sleeping well I would keep my mouth shut as I didn't want to rub salt into the wound of those who were struggling x
Definitely. From my experience people start talking about the struggles once that phase is over and it's not a struggle anymore
Honestly this is my biggest bug bear since becoming a mum. Women need to start being more open and honest about how hard motherhood is and how shit it can be at times, and stop putting pressure on others with their so called ‘perfect’ babies who sleep through, eat everything on their plate etc. In the very early days I felt so so crap and down about how hard I was finding it I felt like it was me doing soemthing wrong, the more time has passed the more I’ve realised that those with seemingly perfect babies are either liars or in denial because there is no such thing as a perfect baby! People just need to start being honest!!
I am - it’s hard!
As someone whose first baby genuinely started sleeping 12h stretches at 4m, most moms I’ve interacted with who say that theirs slept through the night too only mean a 5ish hour stretch. The parts that really bug me is how a lot of them act like they did so many special things that resulted in that. Reminder: there’s no way to get your baby to *start* sleeping through the night until THEY’RE ready to sleep through the night. You could have 12 kids all raised the exact same with the same encouraged routine and the likelihood of any of them having the same stretch of sleep at the same time is virtually zero. Some will wake up after 2h, some 5, some 7, some 12, and of those kids with a long stretch, only half of them will have them at night 😅
You can do everything “right”, but if they’re not ready or don’t want to sleep through the night, they won’t. 🤷♀️ And honestly, same goes for eating and such imo. I’m convinced that the moms whose kids eat everything off their plate are just lucky to have gotten a child with a similar palate to them, because how often does anyone really go out of their way to make food that they don’t like for their child beyond the early introductions? Example: I love green beans and hate corn. My daughter hates green beans and loves corn. When I go to the store and look for a bag of mixed veggies for a side dish, my brain is still avoiding the ones that have corn in them. When I don’t catch myself, it means she’s not getting something she enjoys, and I end up spending 5 min picking out the green beans for her.
She gets called a picky eater, but I don’t. The only reason why is because I don’t put things I don’t like on my plate. I don’t order anything I don’t want off the menu. I didn’t (before kids) buy foods I wouldn’t eat. But my daughter? She gets a plate of ~5 things. Sometimes all 5 are things she wants, and sometimes none of them are things she wants. Just because there are days where she wants nothing on her plate, that doesn’t mean I permanently screwed up her taste buds because I didn’t introduce enough to her in her first year. It just means that she isn’t in the mood for those foods right now. 🤷♀️
none of mine slept through the night until I stopped breastfeeding at age 2! Currently breastfeeding my 3rd and expecting the same to happen. Honestly I think people just have different struggles. Also the only people I know personally that babies slept through very early on were formula fed. Before 6 months of age or when they start eating I think it's quite normal for breastfed babies to wake up in the night. Of course there are always exceptions though.
I think it depends. Not all mom struggle and not all mom feels like sharing their struggle with everyone. Some may sugarcoat motherhood but some other genuinely enjoy their mom life and manage their struggle in a personal and effective way. We are all different.
I find that no one journey is 100% the same. I can't relate with soo much that others can so I stay silent most of the time. Whether that's good or bad or between. Struggle street or not etc.
I have learnt it just different for different babies. For my firstborn I thought people was exaggerating. She was so easy 😅 slept through, hit all milestones etc. I didn't dare speak up at baby groups cause I felt like a show off. Now with my second things are the opposite. HE.WILL.NOT.LET.ME.PUT.HIM.DOWN. My back aches, I'm tired 😫 The other mothers are all makeup etc at baby group and I basically show up in pj's because I literally can't get anything done with him. Babies are just individuals and different from each other so everyone's journey is different 😅
I think people sugarcoat it. I have never heard anyone talk about the way that they feel about motherhood like I have. I’m a first-time mom and have many friends who have had children before I did. They never talked about the struggle, how tired they were. They never talked about sleepless nights. They never talked about anxiety, depression. I am very open and letting people know that I’m purely exhausted, my daughter doesn’t sleep. My anxiety is through the roof. My life is completely different and I’m open about sharing my perspective
I definitely find people to exaggerate or sugar coat the truth. I personally am open and honest because it might help another Mom. I was open and honest when my depression hit with a new mom I just met because I wanted her to know that it’s not something that can hit a person right away but it also can hit at any point. Mine hit when my baby was about 6-8 months old My baby’s sleep was great in the beginning and idk what happened around 6-8 months. We’re finally slowly getting there at almost 2 years. I breastfed and I feel like that was a lot of the problems contributing to the lack of sleep or trouble sleeping along with teething. Growth spurts play a part too. I used to feel like a failure and that I failed my child but everything is a learning curve and things change. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.