What would you do? Be open and honest please.
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Absolutely unacceptable. I don’t often comment on these posts but your partner literally just said if you ever betrayed him he would beat you badly enough to be arrested. He would have no remorse. What other betrayals would he deem big enough to be able to smack you around? I would never condone cheating but threatening your partner with physical violence, no matter what, is a fucking WILD thing to say. This is a dangerous and violent man who would not bat an eye at beating you to a bloody pulp. No matter the circumstances, that’s something you really need to think about because that’s the biggest fucking red flag I’ve ever seen. Like .. your partner just threatened you with physical violence if you were to do something he didn’t like. He warned you not to cross him. Not only that, but he tried to reason it was acceptable & admitted he would not care about the consequences because beating you up would be worth it
If you don't want to leave, seriously get into counselling to work through this. A man that is happy to say this and is serious about it, would more than likely happily do this if he thinks you've cheated on him. You might never have any intentions of cheating on him but that won't ever stop him from assuming or thinking you have. It's controlling behaviour and violent, I would not feel safe around him in any way after a comment like this was made. I'd probably hazard a guess it wouldn't just be cheating he'd have an issue with either. What if you ever want to leave him? Find someone new? Do something else he doesn't like? He's telling you exactly who he is, believe him.
If someone said this to me I would leave , past experiences have taught me to trust someone when they tell you who they are. That’s serious and I’d be super cautious
Also do not let anyone, including him make you feel like the way you feel about this is an overreaction. It is not. And if you do leave and it's suddenly a 'joke' then, do not believe him. Firstly, not something you joke about and secondly you already gave him a chance to go back on it.
@Alex hit the nail on the head there !
@Alex yessss don't let him attempt to play it off as he was joking cause I too agree he'd try and take that route and downplay it!
Sounds like he's beat up a woman before already....
I would be gone. No second thoughts. Like these women have said he has told you exactly who he is and what he is capable of.
I hear women say all the time they’d kill people if they cheated on them. Or cut their d*** off or smack the shit out of him/the woman he messed with etc. and when you ask if they’re serious they’ll say yes. But are they though? I don’t know… I will say all of this for some reason even if we aren’t trying to be sexist just sounds worse coming from a man sometimes because of society and their biological strength over women. I don’t know him so he could have been saying it out of anger (still not ok) but the fact that he got into detail with it and thinking about possibly going to jail is strange like he’s played it out in his head before. And it does sound like he was intentionally trying to intimidate you. I don’t even know why you’d say that out loud otherwise because your man should want to make you feel safe. He needs to know how disgusting that kind of talk is and that if he really thinks there’s any situation where he would lay a finger on you there will be BIG consequences.
@Heidi I totally get where you are coming from! But my response would be the same if the roles were reversed. Women can absolutely be abusers too! Thank you for bringing that point of view to light! 🫶🫶
@Brianne oh I agree! Women can definitely be abusers too. I’m just saying from experience with other people and myself it’s hard to discern if he’s just an ignorant and angry person or if he’s an actual threat. I still think it’s definitely a red flag and not an ok thing to ever say to your partner. If it was my baby daddy and I didn’t actually believe him I’d make him go to therapy, leave for a couple weeks, and take other actions to let him know how seriously I took his comments. If it was a boyfriend I’ve only been seeing for few months-year I’d just cut my losses and go. I don’t know him or the situation but definitely not trying to invalidate her concerns.
If my man ever said something like this to me I would laugh in his face, how disrespectful! I would highly recommend you let him know you do not fear him, and if he was to do something like that, you'll be sure to make sure he stays in jail for life, and you get full custody of the kids. I would definitely bring this up with him and tell him how you're feeling because you're going to overthink and get into your own head which will ultimately be unhealthy for your mental health!