Can’t move on 💔

Its going to be two years this Dec since me and BD split up. He has moved on, with couple if not a few women and still on the prowl online/social media for more. But for me, its still the same. It’s still him I think about before I sleep and when I wake up. I still wait like a fool if he will message me or reply to my text. I keep thinking of all the horrible things that he has done and said to me during the last years we were together and specially when I was pregnant and very early on after giving birth, just to make myself unlove him. But the truth is, my heart aches for him, I long for him still and everyday I wish we were still together. I cry to God praying and begging in desperation that He would make my feelings stop.

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🫂🫂🫂. I’m sure it will get better. When I was in a similar situation, reading the bible helped me so much.

Sounds like a trauma bond. I know the feeling 🙄

My sweety, I understand your pain completely. I was in your shoes not long ago. It took me a good 2-3 years to get over my ex (not my sons father). It’s only in recent months I have been able to move on and meet someone else but before this, I was so depressed, angry, sad, nostalgic, hurt, questioning my worth. You are in a state of grief. And grief is very complex because it involves feeling so many different emotions under the sun to the point where it feels like your going mad and you think you’ll never be able to move on from the person your grieving about. There is no time stamp on grief so please try not to be so hard on yourself. What you are experiencing is painful but normal, I’m the sense that this is part of the process. Some people never fully get over an ex. Even though I have moved on and I love the man I am with now, I still think about the love I had for my ex because I really did love him, I have my heart and soul to that man. I still shed tears from time to time….

(Continued)….although I’m no longer in love with my ex, the love I had for him has left a scar upon my heart. It just doesn’t hurt me the way it used to, I have come to understand why we didn’t last and why we shouldn’t have been an item in the first place and I have made peace with this not 100% but more than enough that I have been able learn from it and move on. Your ex is moving on very quickly in an attempt to delude himself that he is feeling OK about not being with you anymore. He’s running away from the responsibility of allowing himself to feel the pain, to feel the heartbreak. This is quite typical for men, they often carry avoidant attachments styles - “do not feel, anything painful and emotional isn’t good so I must bury it”….my ex did this with me, I was his rebound and he went back to her in the end (long painful story). Grief indicates that there has been a loss, it indicates death - literal death, spiritual death, emotional death, death of a relationship (ending)…..

(Continued)….it may feel unhealthy, but you are allowing your emotions to flow through you and out of you which is actually a healthy form of grief. Your ex on the other hand is using innocent women as sexual objects, to suppress his feelings because he doesn’t cope well with endings and avoids dealing with his emotions like the plague. He may or may not realise this….but what he chooses to do is his problem. Easier said than done but do the best you can to focus on where your at right now - your healing, your emotions etc. And trust that one day, what you feel now will come to pass and part of the parallels of life - light and dark, hot and cold, happy and sad, the sun shines for a time then fades and then the moon comes out. You may be in the dark now…but one day you will find your inner light again and when you do, you will be wiser, more resilient and more empowered than you were before 🌺

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