I just need some advice on this.

I believe a happy household is the most important thing. You can still be very present in the baby’s life without living in the same household. My husband and I were super close (and still are) but having a baby definitely put a strain on our relationship. We started arguing more and it’s hard to see each other because one of us is always needing to tap the other person out to let them get some sleep as we work best in shifts. Anyway having a baby is only going to make those harsh feelings stronger. It’s not easy. I suggest telling him you want to try to work on things and tell him your needs along with asking how you could help him. Say if those things aren’t met you don’t know if you’ll be able to last as a couple but that you want to make it work so you should try. You’re supposed to be a team, so if that’s not happening then it might be better for baby to have two separate active parents rather than one negative household

Sorry about the long rant 😅 I hope that made sense and I’m sending good wishes your way 🫶🏻 congrats on the baby!

@Ashlyn Thank you Ashlyn, I really appreciate your insight 🫶🏽 So Ive expressed to him my needs and asked him how I can show up better for him and his response is that Im great and do a great job of being there, and that hes just not an emotional person and he thinks Im asking too much of him when I ask him to slow down and listen to me more, be kinder to me when hes upset or tired, or just be a listening ear. In one breath he says he can show up for me the way that I need and then in the next he says its too much work and gets angry at me... Im starting to believe the latter of him is more true than the former ... Im trying to give grace to our situation because I know this is all so new for him too. We were strangers at a bar 7 months ago, now were living together with a baby otw. I can imagine how jolting this experience is for him too, so I try to have understanding of that... I just dont know when I should throw in the towel.. idk if this all makes sense

Hmm yeah it sounds like he *wants* to sound like a good guy but then can’t actually follow through with it. Again I’d just tell him these are things I need and if he can’t supply those then it’s not going to work. Men will do the things that are important to them. I do like that you’re trying to be understanding as it is a crazy and new situation that you’re both in. But for long term it’s only going to break you down more. I mean maybe when the baby comes he could become a whole new person and be an amazing, loving father/partnerbut I would just do what’s best for you. If you’re missing family and feel isolated maybe you could suggest moving closer to family so they can help out and be near their grandbaby or again if he’s just not that person for you and it breaks you down then it’s probably better for baby to not be around that. She needs supportive, happy, attentive people in her life and if that’s not how it will be I say it’s better to give that to her than the other way around

@Ashlyn understood forsure, i think it may be time to reasses our situation. I agree, my daughter deserves two , happy, whole people to give her love...not one broken home...

I will be completely honest with you… if u already feel over his shit i would leave now. Also keep in mind things will only get worst when a newborn baby comes around.. newborns cry literally all nightttt. Mom’s happiness is top priority

Have a conversation come to an agreement on coparenting and how hes going to help financially

@Noelle thank you Noelle, thats kind of how ive been feeling. I think im just having a hard time taking that step... i want him to be a good partner, i just dont think he was ready for THIS kind of relationship

Nobody would be ready after just 7 months of dating he probably a bit overwhelmed definitely have a conversation with him let him know how you feel and ask how he feels he might be willing to try to work it or not

@Noelle agreed forsure... I can surely see hes overwhelmed just as I am. Thats why im having a hard time calling it quits so fast. He says hes willing to work on it, but when it comes down to the opportunities to actually do the work, he gets so angry. Its all very confusing honestly.

It sounds like you’ve already come to the conclusion that things aren’t going to work out so I agree with @Noelle about having a discussion about how you’ve been feeling and come to an agreement about coparenting and finances. I know it can be difficult and scary to take that leap but you will feel much better when you get out of that situation and begin surrounding yourself with good friends and family who can be there to support you. Having a baby is so mentally and physically challenging and having a good support system is seriously the most important thing starting out. The sooner you do it, the more time you’ll have to heal from that and the less stress you’ll be in when the baby arrives :) I almost feel too drawn to this convo and feel the need to say if you want to talk further or just want a friend to vent to please message me. I’d love to hear how everything works out and see how you’re holding up when the time comes. Obviously no pressure haha

@Ashlyn right! You need your support system or else you will get ppd and things would just be worse i wouldnt have been able to go through pp unless i had my loved ones around

@Noelle I have PPD even with 24/7 support from my parents and husband. It seriously just takes such a toll on you mentally and physically. I can’t imagine trying to do it all alone or having a partner who is “there” but not there. The stress is already a lot to handle and added stress would absolutely suck