Annoyed, do other husbands do this?

Mine does it. I know what he snacked on after I’ve gone to bed or always wake up to dishes in the sink. We have a dishwasher so why is there dishes in the sink? He leaves his trash on the end table He always has but I will say my constant reminding that he is no longer a bachelor with a wife, he has a toddler in the house now, he has gotten a little better with it It drives me insane. Just like him stuffing the trashcan til it overflows instead of replacing the bag. He grew up that way though. It’s gonna take another 20 years to break the habits 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Christina🤱🏼🍂☕️♈️ that’s a good point. It’s hard for people to change if they grew up a certain way. My husband does the same thing, but it’s just how he grew up 🤷‍♀️ he had gotten better, but it takes time to break bad habits. Especially if they don’t see a problem with them 🫠

My husband loves to cook but not clean up after himself. His brother, who recently moved in with us, does the same thing. I complain to my husband all the time, and I'll call out my bil when I can.

So my husband lately has been using paper towels to dry his hands and then leaves it around the house. I called him out on it and he said it jokingly convenience to wipe spit up and stuff from the baby. He was sort of joking and now doesn't really leave then around as much. Every so often there is one here or there but not like before. Men are simple. They can't remember much and need lots of reminding. It is what it is. 🤷‍♀️

It’s not too complicated for men brains. It’s that we have allowed men to set the bar so low it’s in hell as my therapist would say. We need to leave the men who can’t function as a grown ass man. We have to force them to raise the bar. Someone else on this app said it’s like paying someone to go to work even if they don’t even show up- like no if you don’t show up your ass gets fired. You wanted a husband not another child to take care for the rest of your life. He needs to step up or move over for someone who will.

My husband does it too but he has an area where he gets ready for work that's "his area" I told him anything he leaves out goes in that area. He eventually throws it away himself but from what I hear it's pretty common for men to do stuff like this

My husband does this too. The good news is that there is hope for change. My dear hubby used to do...ummm...like almost nothing around the house. Now, he still leaves stuff around, but he pitches in and helps to clean up every weekend, and if I ask him like, "Hey, can you throw away your wrappers?" he always does it right away. I wish I knew why he changed. I really don't. I did start to ask him to do specific things, but I don't know if that's what really inspired the change or not. But, regardless, there is hope that your man might shape up at least a little! 🤞

My husband does the same thing. But then again, so do I 🤷‍♀️ I'm dealing with so much crap on a daily basis, sometimes those things get thrown to the side until I have the bandwidth to go back and fix it. It does get tiring though. And sometimes I wake up and see that the house is a mess and it ruins my mood.

@Lyss you say it's not too complicated yet so many men have these issues

@Dianna yeah a lot of men have these issues cuz we live in a patriarchal society that has allowed men to do the bare minimum. If we leave the men who can’t do it and they are all alone then eventually they will realize they need to step up or they don’t and they stay alone forever. It really isn’t that complicated. Just set the bar higher. Stop allowing them so much grace.

@Lyss or train them You have a lot of faith that leaving them alone will solve it. But it's ingrained in them. They can't help certain things and if their momma didn't teach them who will? Their significant others... Relationships take work. You have to try for each other not just leave. What's the point in getting married then so you can change your mind? It's suppose to be till death do you part. 😉

@Dianna or moms need to train their sons. The fuck. I am a grown ass person I am too old train another grown ass person. And the only reason it says til death is because marriage was created to control and oppress women. So yeah I do have faith if we leave them. And we raise our sons to to be actually responsible and raise our daughters to not settle for less things will get better. Too many women are slowly dying because these lame ass men are killing the nervous system. While men rely on marriage to survive. That should not be the case. They are just as capable as us. Stop giving them excuses. Relationships require work but this isn’t work this is raising king baby’s to be men and that’s just a big no for me. Been there done that. I’m over it. Read Emotional Labor by Rose Hackman

@Brooklyn he’s just used to it being us. He hasn’t accepted that he’s a dad yet I think. It was him and I for 18 years with a pup for 12 of those years until our son came along. He definitely keeps the home clean for us, but he still has his habits of leaving trash around or his bowls etc. I’m already taught my toddler to throw out his trash and his dishes go into the sink and dishwasher He loves to help with cooking and cleaning too which I love! He’ll be 2 in February. My husband cooks every night and cleans up but will leave his plate or bowl from dinner on the dining room table. I’ll never grasp why.

You have to call him out on it and let him grow to clean up after himself! I know that's the easy answer, but hard to do! Not without causing a fight and making only temporary changes. A permanent change has to come from his own will. And I would highly recommend the Dr John Deloney show to him. Also I would look at the health of the communication between each other. As far as the kids? Consequences can really help them to learn about picking up after themselves! My 5 and 2.5 yr old are starting to learn that more lately. And it's helped me to remember the importance of not being a people pleaser and rug. I tend to try and please everyone, while feeling incredibly selfish. And therefore seeking out more ways to help people. But I really need self care and boundaries!

My husband does that. Fortunately he does just about everything else so I let it go. I just complain under my breath lmao

My partner cleans up behind himself and thinks I'm the messy one 🤷🏾‍♀️ It's not too much for them to comprehend, they just feel like you will pick it up. It's time to become petty if you've had the discussion with no changes. Collect the shit and put it in his car If he leaves his shoes, place them in the trash. If you witness him leave something, directly go ask him who is going to pick it up and don't let it go til he gets up to throw it away. If he wants to act like a teenage boy with a nagging mom, you need to nag more to get him to cooperate. Men like this expect to be mothered 😪

I think it’s ridiculous people chalk it up to “just being a man” This is one of the very many reasons I’m in the process of leaving my kids dad. I rather die alone than deal with this kinda bs from an adult

🤣🤣🤣 its an argument at least every couple weeks in my house. I get zero help with any cleaning or even picking up, definitely not cooking or deep cleaning or dishes. And only about 20 minutes at a time with the kids before they come back inside to me. 🫶🫶 Much love mama

Ladies you picked this man. And trash here and there sure it adds up but you talk to him about it leaving him over simple things is not why you get a divorce. I was with my husband for 10 years before getting married. We have open communication. If somthing bothers me I tell him and we work on it. I don't let the little things build and fester. He leaves trash somewhere I tell him. He leaves his shoes out. When I walk into the room I tell him "hey you left your shoes out" simple to the point. No nagging. And he's mature enough to get up and go put them away. I don't understand why people don't openly communicate with their significant others but will openly communicate online. I feel this is a big contributor to why many relationships don't work

@Lyss but why did you pick him? Did you not get to know him first or did he change once you had kids? Yes we need to train our kids better. But what choices are we making first? And what examples are we teaching them even before they get to those points in life.

@Dianna I picked my ex because he love bombed me and manipulated me and i didn’t realize until it’s too late. I thought I loved him and 6 years into marriage I found out he was having an affair and had a whole ass baby with her when I was pregnant. So no I did not know who I married cuz he was a pathological liar and an alcoholic for our entire marriage and so no I’m not training someone who is not trainable. The fuck. Men are really good at love bombing young women into marriage and then the women feels guilty for failing. So stop with your nonsense. We should not be training men. They need to be raised better.

@Lyss No one forced you into it or forced you to get married. Not all women fall for things like that. No offense babe. I hope your next relationship works out and you make a better choice.

I don't know, I mean.... at first it irritated me with my husband... but of course my grandma was like that's what happens when you get married. Which I can see. My family do it with their spouses and it just kind of makes sense. I'd rather just pick it up myself then bring it up and nothing happen still. I still love my husband no matter what and him not picking up his trash is just something so small and nothing to argue over or pick a fight for. I'm about to have another child so there is going to be a lot and since I'm pregnant he's been doing everything so I guess you can say it actually works out 🤣

Hi super yes feeling this today 😠 just so much picking up of SHIT so many times a day just so my brain can relax with the illusion of tidiness 😝 eff the patriarchy