Toddler and baby I’m very upset

Anyone else toddler is just aggressive towards the baby? We been so nice and loving towards my toddler and always put him first and fulfill all his wishes and needs he is 2 and half years old and past few days he been trying literally to an-alive his sister who is only 8monts old. He tried to put pillow on her face than put blanket and cover her face than tried with toys to put in her mouth and once he stole a measuring tape and wrapped it around her neck and luckily I was there otherwise god know what would have happened. I can’t leave them alone for a second because my toddler constantly trying to throw toys at her and he thinks is funny as he is laughing while doing all this. I know toddlers get jealous ofc but what I’m doing wrong why he becoming like this ? Is something wrong with my toddler or is this normal behaviour? I’m really upset about this😢 and another thing whenever I’m busy like nappy change clothes changing my baby my toddler starts hurting himself like banging his head on wall or the door frame or falling down or doing something to hurt himself and make himself cry. Is this normal ? I think either I’m a really shitty parent and I clearly messed it up or something it’s wrong with my toddler 😢😢😢😢

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This is absolutely nothing you have done! I also have the same age gap, 2.5 toddler and 8 months old baby (3rd April). My toddler generally loves his sister but he definitely has his moments. Sometimes I've left the room for a second and he has hit her and she's crying. I tend not to leave them alone together, just take one of them with me every time but it's extremely difficult and exhausting. Does your little one watch TV? Could it be something that he is seeing and copying? Sounds like the hurting himself is for your attention and there isn't much you can do there as you can't not change the babies nappy 😔 sorry, not super helpful

@Charlotte he does watch YouTube I wonder he might seen something there 🤔 because he started doing this last two days but before he was so loving towards his sister and now it’s like totally opposite and it’s scares me especially the way he tries to suffocate her different ways it’s scary. I will have to check the history on YouTube what he been watching thank you for the idea it was actually helpful you mentioned tv because I didn’t thought of this.

Can you ask him to help with little tasks to help you? E.g. to pass you a nappy or the wipes something you need help with whilst also helping his sister. Have you also spent one on one time with him since his sister arrived? Personally I don't allow YouTube, even the kids ones as you never know what is going to come up next

I think this is normal behaviour. We’ve only got our May 22 boy but my sister just recently had a baby and I was quite surprised at my son’s reaction to him because he loves other kids. Initially he refused to look at him, became extremely upset whenever I hold the new baby, shouts and screams when I ask him if he wants to go and see him. He will get excited to see his aunty and uncle but as soon as I mention the baby he will stamp his feet and refuse to come and when we are there he will bounce on the couch near him and laugh when I tell him not to. You’ve not done anything wrong and I think their brains just struggle to process seeing their mum give attention to someone else as they have been the baby for so long. It sounds like your boy is just upset and stressed out and confused about the new dynamic. I’ve just started giving my boy even more hugs and kisses when we’re with the baby and tell him he’s my best boy. I think it will take a while for him to adjust xx

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