Rant but not a rant

So I had my daughter 18 months ago, best thing to ever happen to me.. her dad on the other hand was not. During pregnancy and postpartum I was treated poorly with no support and made to feel bad for having a shower/eating/going for a walk on my own etc. I have a new partner and think he would like another baby, I’ve always been against it due to my first experience but would probably like another baby and a sibling for my little girl Just feel robbed of the whole experience and now almost suffering as a single mum. So scared of giving someone else a chance, having another baby and then being stuck again as a single mum of two kids 😭

Show your support

Don't rush into anything. Give your new partner a chance to show his true colours before you have another child. You'll know if/when the time is right 😊

@Sophie this is the thing I’m unsure if it’ll ever be the right time. 30 is my cut off point and I’m 30 next year. Just feel on the clock xx

As Sophie said, don't rush into things. Give some time. I see you have commented 30 is your cut off age. Obviously there must be some personal reason behind but being stuck again with two kids will probably be worse. I understand it can be scary but only time will give you that confidence.

@Becky Why is 30 your cut off point, if you don't mind me asking? Plenty of women have babies in their 30s. Obviously it's entirely your choice but you're adding additional stress to the decision by adding that time limit, especially given that your relationship must still be rather new. In your shoes I would want to live with your partner for a year or two before deciding. See whether he contributes financially. See whether he joins in with housework and care of your child. See whether he steps up when one or both of you are sick. Etc. I'd say the benefits of doing that, and reducing the chances of becoming a single mum of two, outweigh any disadvantages of having a child in your early 30s. Disclaimer: I'm biased here as I had my little one at 36!

I am also biased as i was 37 when i had my little one (38 shortly after), but, just a bit of devils advocate- I had been with my hubby 7 yrs before we had our little one, and tbh, whilst he isn’t abusive at all, he is absolutely useless. Which i didnt expect. He was never great but is definitely worse now 🤷‍♀️ x

I had an awful experience the first time too so understand that fear, i accidently fell pregnant the 2nd time after only seeing my new partner for a few weeks and I was terrified but that experience was amazing in comparison and we are now married and have had 2 more kids. If you want a child then I say go for it but otherwise then it might be worth waiting it out for a while to see how it goes xx

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