Am I being unreasonable? Please advice!

So my baby is 6 weeks old and the other day my partner came in from his early shift at work and went for a nap! Fair enough, I go upstairs to get something and I caught him doing IT under the covers (if u get me) watching something on his phone… it’s made me feel quite sick considering we have had no intimacy (I’ve told him if he gets some condoms we can…) but he hasn’t bothered It’s made me feel even more insecure and now not even want to do it… like he deffo wasn’t watching a girl who’s just had a baby’s body He won’t talk to me about it, we didn’t speak for ages and then we kind of just made up without talking it through… no matter what, he will not talk to me about it! What’s do I do???

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It’s always difficult when you catch them at it, and perhaps it’s because my partner and I actively talk about sex and even masterbation but for me I find it quite normal and I wouldn’t have taken offence to this myself. Being 7 months pregnant and not having sex we do a lot of other stuff but I do know that my partner gets sexually frustrated so I often tell him to make sure the bath tubs clean before I come up there (as a standing joke!! lol) Being able to talk can make alot of difference and I do hope you’re able to sort it out as it would be good for both of you to set boundaries for example if something makes you uncomfortable. X

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, because you can’t help the way it’s made you feel, and I certainly understand feeling less confident/secure in your own body because pregnancy changes so much. However I personally wouldn’t be offended if I caught my husband doing the same, because I think it’s normal and natural, and it’s something we talk about openly. It’s very difficult if your partner won’t speak about it with you - have you tried to open the conversation by just telling him how it made you feel? Maybe let him know again that you would like to be intimate with him (if that’s the case) but that he needs to get protection as you’d previously asked him to do. I do think open communication is the only way forward here x

Tbh, you do have to put things into his perspective, keep in mind the me too era tends to put some men in a position where they don’t want to make the first move if it will make you feel uncomfortable. He still has needs just like we do, out of respect for you during this time it looks like self pleasure is keeping his needs at bay. When i was pregnant hubby kept his distance, now he can’t keep his hands off me. Try initiating the intimacy and go from there.

I’m completely against porn and we do not have it in our marriage. If this is how you feel that’s something that should be communicated thoroughly and he has to be willing to give it up. We also can’t expect to leave our guys just sexually frustrated all the time 😬😬 If you don’t have a condom there’s other ways to get there that you guys can do together.

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