Am I overreacting?
Sorry to just dump this but I feel like no one truly understands how I feel…
For some context, my mum has always shown me conditional love. If I did things to annoy her she would just ignore me growing up. I feel like I have moulded myself around her to be someone completely different.
Fast forward to early this year i decided to leave my course in university - just wasn’t for me and started causing me depression to this my mother responded with kicking me out. During this time i moved in with my partner and we found out i was pregnant - we were so excited. For me the dark cloud of telling my mum was just always ruining it because i really know her.
Anyways me and my mum ended up reconciling and reconnecting, i introduced her to my partner and everyone who she hadn’t met yet - all was well for a couple weeks everyone seemed excited and for the first time in my pregnancy I felt peace. My mum then started heavily criticising me about not being married and how we should do it now she would say this on every phone call - to add she would tell me my life is now heading for destruction because I am pregnant and having left uni. She also refused to tell my grandmother about it because she said it was basically shameful and just ruined the whole pregnancy for me.
It all became too much for me so I tried to put boundaries and tell her it was beginning to affect my confidence. To which she told me because she’s my mother she’ll keep on doing it anyways and basically I know nothing.
We haven’t spoken since - I sent her a message asking to meet and talk to resolve issues before my baby comes to reduce tension. Once again she ignored it.
Today my partner told me that my mum and MIL are planning something for me. Before I had already told my mum I’m not one for surprises and didn’t want anything like that. So I feel like she is portraying herself differently for everyone else to look good whilst she’s ignoring me??
It just feels narcissistic to go ahead and plan something she knows full well I had already said no to - in the midst of once again abandoning me and ignoring me.
I feel like she wants to paint me as the ungrateful daughter whilst she looks like the amazing mother - when she’s never been there for me as a mother.
Sorry for the long read :)
But just wanted to vent and get some advice
* btw my partner only told me bc he knows I’m not into that and obviously knows the situation so I’m grateful*
I’m sorry your mother is like this , I obviously can’t say she is narcissistic, but it seems she’s definitely acting narcissistic. Is it possibly to have you or your partner talk to your MIL and explain the situation? I’m sure she would completely understand you not wanting to attended with your mother present/involved