is this behavior normal?
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It makes sense you struggle to tell her to stop, she isn’t doing anything wrong. Just being a baby. But did you reprimand your son for pushing her off the bed and kicking her? That can escalate if it’s not checked. Especially if it’s a jealousy issue.
While the behavior is a normal response, it needs to be corrected. I don’t have experience but try to do a ton of research because I will be having a second baby soon enough. A lot of this stems from jealousy! You give baby attention and not him therefore the baby so the problem to him. Firstly, if possible, don’t allow him to put any hands on her. Physical violence isn’t okay and should be redirected immediately. (I know I know easier said than done) Secondly, talk to him the way you talk to baby. For example, you say “hang on bud I have to change baby’s diaper”. Also talk to her the same way, “hang on baby, I’m gonna help big brother” it brings them on a leveled field because now baby is being told to wait and he is taking priority. Thirdly, one on one time with him is so important. He’s communicating the need for attention when he lashes out. When she’s down for a nap, play with him or if baby sister is individually playing, give him extra attention.
It’s important to note that you never want to praise bad behavior. If he tries to lash out at her and you in turn spend time with him, that will send him the signal that hurting his sister gets your attention. Which it technically does, he wants attention and hitting his sister gets that attention. Redirect that behavior. Tell him it isn’t okay, keep your other child safe, and give him an outlet. Like “we don’t hurt baby sister for attention, if you want mama to play or do an activity you just gotta ask mama” and reward that behavior. If he is asking, say yes! That is a positive communication. Kids don’t know how to express their emotions or feelings and it’s important to give them the tools to do so. I wish you luck! And I hope my words help. It won’t be an overnight change but try to be proactive with spending time with him and then you won’t have to be reactive with his behavior of that makes sense.
Yes it’s normal! My daughter is like this. I do all the things @Meghansaid as I also did all the research before having two and she still does ‘mean’ things to her sister. Some kids just have a harder time with it. I just try to be consistent and hope she will grow out of it! X
I’m not well experienced with children as my boy is only 4 months old but maybe a little bit of jealousy involved and attempts to get your attention? 3 years old is still so young and they still don’t know how to regulate emotions very well and a new baby must feel scary and overwhelming for older siblings…may just be a way to grab your attention whether it’s good or bad?xxx