Am I in the wrong?
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My grandmother gave me the same advice as she gave my mom when she was a new parent. Just don't tell them. If your MIL doesn't know when you spend time with your family she can't complain about it not being fair. You also do not need to be around people who won't respect boundaries and he may have to be direct about respect before visits.
@Charlotte its mostly bad grammar /colloquial. “That’s some poor English skills” would be considered colloquial. The screenshot and your response both have grammatical and colloquial errors. We all have done it at times, no reason to point it out and then do the same.
My advice would be to stay out of it. He can apologize that she feels left out but ultimately he can’t neglect his new family. It’s harder to have a single income with a family now. She needs to understand that no one is choosing families and that her doing so is just making it uncomfortable to want to spend time when you’re able to. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it or anything and you’re not selfish. I know when I’m off I want to relax. I like spending time with family but sometimes it’s too much. Your husband definitely needs to check her, respectfully but try to reiterate he has his own family to prioritize and her doing all the extra stuff isn’t helpful it’s just creating more divide.
Let him reply and just keep it brief. "You've got it wrong, life is just very busy right now. We'll see you on [x]."
@Nichelle. Gave some excellent advice. This was mainly directed at him and he needs to check his mom. There is a saying, "a daughter is a mother's daughter for life and a son is a mother's son till he takes a wife". I know its kept equal on both side but his mother probably feels a natural drift that isnon your husband and she wants to blame that on you. And in all reality she's making it worse for herself. So let your husband deal with his mom. Its on him and it sucks that his mother wants to blame it on you. But it's natural for son's to drift. I think thats why their is a saying. Its just explaining a natural thing that is so common.
@Shelley it’s the exact opposite here my mom used to tell me that saying but switch it around “son for life and daughter until she becomes a wife” 😂😂 But yes stay out of it. I would say to him to explain it though and make it clear that your families have split time equally and she’s taking things too far by saying that kind of stuff about his wife and him
Honestly, could not even figure out what she's saying. That's some poor English skills there. And I know some people have second languages etc, but this just feels lazy, and sloppy, and I can't believe someone would talk to their own son that way either. I would just ignore, not even respond, just leave it on read... My dad once said to his family "I am your family, but they (meaning my mum and older brother at the time) are MY family, and my family will always come first"