In laws say they can’t come on baby first bday cruise because they need to help SIL and her kids 🤔
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It kind of sounds like they have previous responsibilities to SIL. It doesn’t sound like favoritism. It takes a lot to go away for a week so I’d always ask months in advance and be flexible about timing when planning a trip with others.
It’s in April ladies 🥴I think that’s more than enough time to arrange things..we would never ask her to leave SIL high and dry.
a week is still a long time to make arrangements for. i don’t see the issue in your husband asking when you guys are the reason why arrangements would need to be made. if you really want them to go then you shouldnt have a problem asking. otherwise enjoy saving money on not having to pay for them & enjoy your sons birthday
Maybe they don’t want to go on a cruise? Cruises aren’t everyone’s cup of tea 😂
@Rebecca we were supposed to go a couple years ago. We cancelled because I got pregnant. They’re open to new experiences. It would be all of our first cruise experience.
@dom because SIL doesn’t communicate with us when arrangements need to be made. For example she just had her third baby and is going back to work. My FIL watches our son twice a week. Instead of calling us to figure out scheduling, she went through his parents and had them ask us. It’s so weird. So why should my husband have to ask her about his own parents? Everyone is an adult. The point that I’m trying to make is that things should be fair. Yes, they have responsibilities to SIL already. But does that mean they will never be available for any other grandkid? It should be expected that both their children would have needs and time should be divided equally. Also, remember I said FIL watches our son 2x/week? If SIL wanted to take them on a trip, she would NOT be calling us. My in-laws would certainly tell us “I can’t do it this week bc xyz” I am 1000% sure.
I can relate to this. My MIL prioritises helping my SIL and her children over helping us. It’s hard to not feel upset by it sometimes. I’ve been told “it’s different when it’s your daughter” but I don’t know I can’t imagine treating my son’s children so differently to my daughter children the way my MIL does
sounds normal. don't get into this competetion bit. that road is dark. they have other plans. that' s okay.
@Aimee thank you. Everyone is making it seem like it’s normal. It’s not.
@Evah there’s no competition here. I’m just expecting my son to be prioritized just like every other grandkid. That’s all. And this is not them saying they have other plans. It’s a choice. They are making a decision to choose one grandchild over the other. I’m not okay with that.
It doesn't sound like favouritism from what you have described. It sounds like your sil needs them to help out a lot and your in laws don't want to leave her to deal with things when she counts on them. If your fil picks her kids up every day then they maybe be worried who would do that if they weren't around. It just sounds like you have offered them a holiday to say thank you but they can't attend due to precious commitments. My mother always gives me plenty of notice before they go on holiday so that I can work around them and I don't rely on them to do anything for me. You have described them as nice people who are looking out for their kids and grandchildren