After birth time

How long are you waiting to have visitors after birth? I have said 2 weeks for anyone other than my mum and grandparents who I want at the birth and who live 20 mins away and been helping while pregnant. My husbands mum wants to come within the week. We haven’t had a great relationship in the past but she’s using my husbands sister going to New Zealand as an excuse. It will be first week of Jan and I’m very worried about bugs as they would be travelling 10 hours to get to us. If the baby was born on his due date she would have been in New Zealand by then but now he’s coming early they want to visit within the first week of birth. I am totally against it and said his mum could come after a couple of weeks. I have no contact with his sister and she didn’t come to our wedding due to family arguments. Am I the asshole? I am feeling overwhelmed at the thought of visitors and baby boy isn’t even here yet.

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Totally get you feeling overwhelmed - I do too. I think it’s hard to say your mum can come and visit but your husbands can’t. I totally get you feeling overwhelmed and not wanting them but can also understand why they’d want to visit. My husband would be really upset with me if I had my mum & not his visit. If it is just germs you are worried about could you perhaps say they can come but no holding baby & sanitise and if they feel ill you obviously do not want them coming? X

@Incognito I think the difference is my mum comes to the house and cooks and cleans to help us. His mum we have seen once in 2 years and he and his mum had a rocky relationship. They aren’t close and she says a lot of horrible things.

I would speak to your husband and tell him exactly how it is, then it would just be about compromising and communicating with each other properly. Any issues the husband and his mum have should not be your concern, yes its akward. Hope you come to a solution x

Your hormones are gonna be all over the place once baby comes and you’ll need atleast 2/3 weeks to settle into being a new mum so 2 weeks is fair enough, I didn’t have anyone for 3 weeks with my first because I was completely overwhelmed. This is your time to bond with your baby - there’s no rush for everyone to meet them straight away! They’re not going anywhere xx

Probably a few days tbh depending on how well I recover from the birth. They’ll all be limited to an hour max and will be on the understanding that we will invite them when we are ready

I'm going to have my in-laws at home to take care of our oldest so unfortunately I won't have any choice, I appreciate their help but I would have preferred to be just the 4 of us for a bit, have my privacy......I'll try my best to keep the baby hidden lol ..they love to kiss my son so that will be an hard no for the baby though

Mmm yea I think it is unfair that your mum can visit and his can’t. The past is the past, at the end of the day regardless of the history it is his mother. As for other family members I agree a couple of weeks. But i advise your mum and his only stay for an hour or two no more It’s extremely overwhelming when people visit.

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