Am I holding him back? Need perspective

I love my husband very much, he’s a good father and partner who does his fair share of parenting. However, sometimes I feel like my baby and I are holding him back. He is ambitious and loves his job. So he often works till wee hours in the morning while taking care of baby during night wake ups. If I didn’t text him to help with the baby night routine, he’d likely stay in the office till very late. He wants to go to his cousins wedding during the summer and stay abroad for 10 days. I can’t go bc I will not get the time off. He wants to enjoy the wedding, see his family and friends. He’s made up his mind that he will do it. Again I feel like he’d rather party and have a good time than be with us. I’m even more mad that he wants more children while I feel like a ball and chain holding him back. He says he is happy with our life but his actions (working late, going to the wedding) tell me otherwise.

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Well, you are right to be upset. He cannot pretend that life is gonna be the same after having a baby. He is building a family with you... and that means sacrifices like not going to the Wedding because you need him, because you, together, are responsible for a baby....

That’s exactly it @Cindy he think life has to be the same and I’m telling him it cannot be. His friends are living the same life. Plus he wants more children. I don’t want anymore unless his attitude changes. To be fair, he does care for our baby when he isn’t working (again he works a lot by his own choice) and now to just leave abroad for 10 days with me alone with a toddler. His response, hey the nanny can stay longer. I’m working too plus our baby doesn’t sleep at night. I’m just sad and frustrated

10 days is a loooong time…is there compromise that can be made? maybe that means you get a spa weekend by yourself before or after the trip or you hire help the days he is gone? everyone deserves a break, but it is a bit weird he’s made his mind up that he’s going versus bringing it up as discussion with you first. I would express that that is what bothers you. Not the fact that he is going, but that he didn’t talk with you first to make sure you and baby would be taken care of while he was away.

@Lydia I agrée everyone needs a break. I am constantly telling him to take an afternoon off on weekends but he doesn’t. Whenever our baby sleeps, he works! He doesn’t want to go see his friends. He’ll occasionally go to a party once a quarter. So the wedding suddenly just throws me off. Maybe he really needs a break but he’d rather just go for 10 days than smaller breaks. It’s Christmas Eve and he is working the whole day. No. One else is

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