BPD depression or just regular depression or postpartum depression?

I really just need to talk to someone I literally don't care who. I'm going back into a deep depression I don't like it and I don't want my kids seeing me like this especially my oldest (5 yr ) so basically the year of 2024 was a Awful yr for me all the way around 🙁 me and my faincé have been together 7 yrs and have 3 kids. Ages 5,2 and 7 months old. I don't know why I get into these episodes that lead me into leaving and then I tell everyone I'm leaving then turn right around and just stay because I know that's what I really want. I've been on postpartum depression meds before when my oldest was born but this depression started as soon as I found out I was pregnant maybe a lil bit before. I do smoke marijuana to help with my anger and everything else. Should I try therapy should I try meds again ?