Pronouns

I think it’s actually incredibly difficult to determine whether it’s a man or woman when on the phone to someone! But in any case, I think the clinician has used they/them as its easier for them; rather than to offend you. ❤️ I’m sorry this has upset you, I think a low tone is quiet a nice trait. Hope you feel better soon 💕

@2ndTimeExpecting Thankyou, it’s just massively played on one of my big insecurities 😩 never had a letter not refer to me as she/her.

I would clear it up with them so the issue doesn’t occur again. I think people are just overly cautious to offend anyone and they might have been trying to take the least offensive route not really knowing what to do. You’re fine just the way you are. I can’t understand anyone on the phone let alone know if they are male or female.

@Marissa Thankyou, I think I will drop them an email. I feel like it’s being overly dramatic but it’s probably my mood anyway depression/anxiety and it’s just really gotten to me today 😩 thankyou for replying

@Aimee I struggle with the same stuff. I just assume it’s better to clear it up now than dealing with reoccurring feelings when there’s been no change and you have to see it again, ya know?

Thankyou. Appreciate it, I’ve called up and left a message. They will probably think it’s pathetic. But I’d rather get it changed like you say don’t have to see it again then :/ x

This whole pronoun shit has a lot of women feeling super insecure. My niece is an absolutely gorgeous woman and is 6’1, but because of her height people think she’s trans and the other day she was crying saying, “do people not like me because they think I’m trans?” This bs has everyone confused with some of the most beautiful women. I’m sorry you went through that hun. Even I’ve been accused of being trans due to my chin being “masculine.” I don’t care if this offends someone, but screw pronoun politics. I hope this dumb ass attention seeking bs ends and people wake tf up

@Marijka I’m so sorry that your niece felt that way 😞 I am concerned and struggle to navigate explaining these things to my own children. I just feel that there’s a-lot of changes being made for the minority, and it does cause so much confusion. I really didn’t like being referred to as they/them. To me I can’t even read it the letter properly as I have never used those terms as pronouns, they/them I associate when talking about a group. I have nothing against people’s choices. But the letter I received just totally offended me. I feel like I have to defend me having a gender

@Aimee I agree. Honestly I used to be so extremely open to it and loving of people who used different pronouns, but then it bleeds onto everyone else and then it becomes offensive to them when you’re like, “but wait no.. I’m actually a woman” I’ve now honestly got to the point where I just send that meme gif of that one dude that’s like “IT IS MA’M” whenever someone thinks I’m a guy. In one of my discord someone called me sir, and one of the members corrected him and he was just like “well back in my day we just pretended.” LIKE I GAVE BIRTH??? WHAT IS THERE TO PRETEND????

@Marijka exactly !! I read a book called ‘Material Girls’ by Kathleen Stock (she was sacked from Oxford for defending feminism) and how changes are affecting women. Same as JK Rowling. Get cancelled for having a valid opinion on the subject :( the hospitals in UK started calling pregnant women birthing people. It’s madness

@Aimee yuuup

When I was 18 and really into my rowing, my body was super athletic and I was mistaken for trans. It was really upsetting at the time. No fear now as two babies later i look like a milk cow 🐮 would take that trans look now tbh 😅 but on a serious note, I’m sorry that happened to you, it’s a totally valid feeling and having to defend your femininity just doesn’t seem fair. On this note, I had a midwife appointment a few weeks ago and she asked whether I was going to ‘chest feed’. I was so offended and couldn’t really articulate why. But now I think it’s exactly that - don’t invalidate my milk cow tits!!!

@Claire I think the main problem is that she’s a woman, it’s insulting that she even has to have a reminder that she is a woman or ask “I’d like to be referred as she/her” as if there’s a possibility that she’s not. It’s sucks having to defend the fact you’re a woman when there should be no doubt in the first place

I think it's protocol to ask for the person they'd like to speak to for confidentiality reasons in case some one else answers the phone. I'm wondering if it's a template letter they copy and paste then send out so it saves them time... could explain why it says they/them so they don't have to edit it for every person. I hope you're okay! don't let it get you down xx

Just want to thank everyone for reassuring me it’s not an over reaction. Think everyone has been spot on. It feels like an insult, especially that I have to request to be she/her 😩 it’s done now. The admin lady came back to me earlier saying she would ‘make a note’ on my record. I asked if this was standard procedure to use they/them and she didn’t really answer my question. She just sounded a bit perplexed about the whole thing. I explained my insecurities and how I had felt upset over it. I didn’t really receive an apology. Which I think really should have been given as on all my forms I tick female (she/her) blah blah and it did really upset me - and to think this particular service is one that’s meant to help with mental health …. 🫣 I’m under a lot of services for autoimmune disorders and I’ve never been given non binary pronouns. But thanks again everyone I really do appreciate hearing everyone else’s point of view and just being able to get it off my chest ! X

@Marijka your first comment 💯 Women truly get the shit end of the stick in this society because of politics. Thanks for keeping it real.

I once had a role where I had to ring individuals to provide them with confidential information… You have always got to clarify when ringing somebody, that they are who you expect them to be. It seems daft because it’s your phone they’re ringing, however it’s just the policy. Also, security questions is something every person does differently. I used to just ask what was given in training, however there are multiple you can ask and some choose to ask more for whatever reason. I had to ask multiple questions once due to the poor signal connection and not being able to clearly hear what the other person was saying, I didn’t want them to keep having to repeat themselves as sometimes anxious patients can get more frustrated that way, but tend not to notice so much with a variation of different questions x