Narcissist Mother

Girlllll that’s how they do! Take everything personal 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 It’s sad ! They think they are SO privileged because they are “mother “ or “grandmother “ I literally had to tell mine the other day it’s funny u laugh about the word boundaries and I’m heavy on boundaries with my Children and she actually makes jokes about it but like I told her u weren’t taught them and I wasn’t either that’s why so much shit happened growing up to BOTH OF US! I teach my kids BOUNDARIES to ensure them they are human and it’s NO age limit On boundaries & To Come talk to me ABOUT ANYTHING!!!!!! About whatever and WHOEVER!! But I’m due anyday now with my 3rd child and she never once asked me about getting me anything , baby shower nothing it’s sickening I’ve had talks with her and cried over it and now I’ve shed my last tear but I had to truly tell her about her self the other day ! I pray she changes , most of them don’t but we will see 🙏🏾

I’m sorry you have had to go through this too! Like everyone is telling me I have done the right thing but from her reactions I feel like I have betrayed her - even though I know it’s right for me and my family. It’s so horrible! I pray that I do not end up like this, it would break my heart. So many horrible memories as a child when she thinks it was all unicorns and daisies! I was at my brother’s birth when I was 12 yrs old and she has even used that against me, saying how deeply I have hurt her and that this is what mothers and daughters do - they bond over the birth ect stating men don’t have enough compassion like a woman does ( meaning my husband won’t be good enough ), my husband is the only person I trust my life with and I know he will do an amazing job at comforting me and supporting me throughout it. I just hate how she makes me feel!!! X

It makes me question everything I have said and thought, it took a lot for me to tell her she couldn’t be there for the first 2 weeks - I have never set a boundary which is probably my own fault but I’ve found it easier just to go along with it instead.

@Mera Love Good luck with baby number 3, I hope it gets better for you too ❤️🙏

I hate it too love!! My mom will NOT be at the birth of my baby! And like I told her I hate coming around and yall act like everything so peachy & cream but yet u undercover hate me! U tell me u love me but don’t show it!!! And then acts like nothing has ever happened . It’s like their memory is shot ! My grandmother is the ring leader she’s the worse one! Definitely not a normal grandmother ! She thought it was ok she was gonna get on a plane and come to texas where I currently live and she stays in Maryland where we from and just randomly come out here and plan to stay with me NO notice didn’t ask or nothing u talk about control i said imagine coming to a whole other state don’t even know where TF I live or anything u gonna be n the middle of no where! I don’t want neither one of them At this baby birth ! They both don’t know how to act even at my previous kids births . So NO I have my care team and the people I want in MY room. I guess she think after our “talk” she’s

Coming to the Birth . No maam ! And this is my first girl too! I’m cutting her cord & all. I don’t want or need nobody else doing that because I refuse for that generational cycle to be on her!! And then my boys will come to the hospital and we spend time together . I’ll let her come visit but ima tell her to put her phone away NO pictures AT ALL!!!! It’s a sacred time if u can’t respect it LEAVE! If u don’t want to then I’ll have the hospital shut down! 🤷🏽‍♀️

Girl let’s not talk about siblings 🙄 they are the golden KIDS ! I’m the black sheep!

Exactly!! I had no conversation with her about how long she was thinking of coming for, when she was thinking of coming ect and then she just text me yesterday saying I’m going to book a flight for August (I’m due 3rd Sept). I was like wait what!?!? Now it’s world war 3, she is also constantly on her phone taking photos and I know my whole birth would be her recording and taking photos which I don’t want, I want support from my husband. The only reason I have said 2 weeks after baby is here, is because they wanted to stay in our house from the moment baby arrives and I just can’t do that. It would be different if they suggested getting a hotel, which they are now but then also saying well it’s quite costly - making me feel bad for them thinking of staying in a hotel!!? This shouldn’t even be something I need to think or stress about, it should be common sense that they don’t stay with us and our newborn child! Luckily, my siblings are all aware of her narcissistic ways..

But my youngest brother is defo the golden child in her eyes - he also sees through it all and knows that she’s a narcissist. I’ve been stressing non stop for 2 days now getting awful texts from her and feeling more and more like I have done something wrong instead of her realising my wishes as a new mother!

Insanity !!! 🤦🏾‍♀️ and well my siblings act like nothing is wrong but they are so Dam spoiled they too blind to see anything

Wow! Two months is a long visit, especially in your home. There is literally nothing you could decide to do that would be unreasonable because having a baby then caring for it is enough. Anything extra for anyone other than yourself and the baby during that time should be optional. My mom spent the night at my house once when I had my first baby. I had gone about a month without sleeping more than 45 minutes at a time and she offered to come have a sleepover and help me so i could finally get some rest. I had to emotionally prepare for her visit, get the guest room ready, plan meals, entertain her, etc. She took the baby for me for about 2 hours after dinner and brought him back to my room when she went to bed at 9pm. So it was a lot of extra stress to have her there and to entertain her in the morning too without getting any deep sleep. I can't even imagine having an unhelpful narcissist in my home triggering me for months while taking care of a newborn.

@Bethany thank you for sharing Bethany!! I actually took the plunge and told her no.. it didn’t go down well but I know I’ve made the right decision! I’ve said no one is too come for the first 2 weeks, so my husband and I can get an idea of what we’re doing and our dog can adjust also. I’ve also said they can’t stay with us now either.. I felt bad but now I know it was the right decision! Xx

Good call! You should be super proud of yourself! Setting boundaries is such a challenge.

@Bethany Thank you so much, it really is! Xx