Condescending MIL

Prior to getting pregnant my husband and I worked out a financial plan that allowed me to stay home with the baby. I worked in childcare so putting my child in daycare to watch other people’s children didn’t make much sense. He made more than enough to cover bills and have money to spare. We decided to upgrade my car for more safety features and space as I’d have baby during the day. I worked up until I was put on bed rest and then quit. Two weeks after she was born my husband quit his job. It was stressful giving the timing and our plan which wouldn’t be feasible anymore. I assumed he was going to start looking for another job immediately but instead he enrolled in school. We discussed and he’s not going to have time to work as it’s an accelerated program with long hours. I dabbled with the idea of going back to work because the lack of financial stability scares me. My MIL is super supportive of her son’s choices despite this being the worst possible timing. I talked to her about the idea of going back to work and in the most condescending tone she says “what would you even do? Especially now that you have a baby! The only option you have is a low paying virtual customer service job.” This rubbed me the wrong way because it’s the last thing I wanted to do and I’m only in this position because of her son’s choices.🙄🙄

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That was obviously rude of your MIL to say, but the real problem here is your husband. Why is he making huge family decisions on his own? And worse, going back on pre-agreed arrangements on a whim?! How are you supposed to support your family if neither of you are able to work?

I agree with above, I can’t believe your husband quit his job 2 weeks after you having a baby, that seems very drastic and irresponsible. If he wants to study why can’t he wait until next year

Sucks she said that. Even though he is in school, and it could be long hours… he could 100% get a part time job to help too… TONS of people do the acceleration courses for school and still work.. I did an accelerated class and TONS if not like everyone also worked too. It can be done if he is willing to. I’d be livid with my husband if he did that to me.

@Lindsay the schedule for the program has a virtual option 9 hours a day. He absolutely could work but he’s not going to. or at least keep her so I can but his mother is advising against that, as if mothers don’t do it all the time.

@Anneliese ironically enough he did not want to go back to school. He has a degree and he was finished but after he left his job his mother advised him to go back to school. Even filled out his application for the same program his twin did. This was not at all his idea and I’m surprised he’s even going along with it.

Idk the reason your husband quite his job but when you are marrued and have a financial obligation to the family your created you have to discuss it with your partner.Period. You habe to consult and come to an agreeable conclusion on what is best for the family. Lile you guys did when it was agreed you would quite tour job to care for LO. Decsciding to quite and not work to persue a degree full time with no job without consulting your partner is irresponsible and disrespectful. His mother should have zero say in this. The 2 of you should have a serious talk on this matter and what will be best for y'alls family. But if he left because he was unhappy, he should have looked for a new job and secured that job before quitting. 😒 But I agree with @Caroline yhe problem here is your husband. And MIL is rude and needs to stay out of y'all s family business.

@Shelley you are absolutely correct. He quit because there was a threat to his life during his shift that involved a firearm and his boss handled it poorly. He should not have quit without securing another position first even if it was a pay cut.

I can umderstand wanting to leave a job since he felt he didn't he physically safe there but at the end of day, he needed to TALK and DiSCUSS this with you on how you two as a family would move forward and what is the best option for you guys financially. My husband had a semi similar experience. Where he felt where he was working was a saftey hazard and his bosses didn't care. We discussed they options and how his job impacted him mentally. At first he looked for a job and wasn't getting much interview wise and we talked more about building out emergency fund to where he could quite and make finding a job his full time thing after something big happened at work where he just couldn't do it any more. So he had a date set of when he would quite and we knew we had enough in savings to alloe him 6 months to get a new job. And he found one within month 2. But the thing is we discusedd all this and how it would look and expectations. Wd saved knowing he would quick but during that time he still looled for a

Job when he could during that time. Ans having an exit date helped him. Plus having that 2 months was good for him too. You guys need to talk about these things and not make a descion without consulting the other. Personally I think he was selfish here. I get why but it was still an irresponsible desicion to make on his own and disprectful to y'alls relationship. I'm sorry you are going threw that. Financial stress is a lot. Hopefully you guys can have a heart to heart and talk about it.

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