Family

It's a hard one. Maybe your Ma will feel differently when your LO is older? I'd focus on finding the best routine you can covering everything just you and your partner if you can, then if she does help it'll be a nice bonus and if she doesn't for whatever reason it won't poison your relationship

@Tamarin thank you ❤️ i dont want it to poison our relationship but i know as soon as she knows my mother in law is helping she will also be jealous! Theres no in between. She even seems jealous that my step dad has opened a savings account for my LO saying how he says he dosnt have money but has money to open this for my son? I was touched that he done this as she dosnt have any other children of his own and he is my step dad, he also makes my LO laugh again she dosnt seem to like this. I dont know if she is just scared as its been so long a baby in the family! She only knows me and im 41 plus my baby was really small when he was born at 41+5. Just hurts as i dont have any other family i can rely on! I asked her when i was 6mths pregnant if when i go back to work if she could when im on a late shift could just come to mine and mind the baby for 2hrs on 2 late shifts so a maximum of 4hrs a week just whilst i get home as my partner would be in work and even then she said no and i should of thought of this

@Tamarin before getting pregnant! All she goes on about is her doing it on her own but i know my nan and grandad did not let hrr do it on her own.

@Rox its so sad i love my mum and as a child i felt at the time she was a great mum! But as i got older into adult hood shes changed. My MIL is going to help out once a week. I told my mum this and she was like thats good! There is no shaming her to feel guilty. I was out with her today and she seemed annoyed i wasnt listening to her even though i was but attending to my LO needs she also seems annoyed when he cries. All i ever get is you wasnt like that? Or my baby cries over everything! I tell her he is a few weeks old what does she expect?

I have the opposite problem my mom would want to take over and do everything and still treat me like a little girl but I had to set boundaries and maybe what your mom is doing is something similar but the other way around for you - does it make sense ? Don't take it personally that's all

My children are 23 and twins 19. Currently pregnant with a surprise baby lol and I their whole life my parents have baby sat my kids 4 days !

@Mara yes she still treats me like im 10. To be honest i am taking it personally as when my grandad passed my nan needed some support! We are an extremely small family. I helped look after my nan and i wanted to but at the same time i HAD too. I done that for 3 years until my nan passed and lived with my nan 3xs a week around my shift work job in healthcare, not seeing much of my hubby and my poor cat at home as my hubby works nights. For 3 years it was hell bcos my doing if was not good enough. I would get weekly bashing off shes doing too many sundays, days etc... i was the only one out of my mum and auntie who didnt really have much of a life around my job and was home maybe 1-2 days a week. If i had leave booked in work i wouldnt tell my mum so i could schedule what i wanted to do on my terms.

@Mara I went from holidaying 3xs a year and going out from meals to nothing. I believe my mum didnt like me doing these things as she couldnt do it herself so felt it was a way to control what i couldnt do? She even moaned bcos my auntie asked could i stay at the weekend so she could go away a few days for her 50th. My mum was so angry about this so wasnt just me who she was doing it too. I constantly get told how when i was a baby she had to do it on her own? She was 19 living with my grandparents. I dont believe that for one second. I think the do it on her own was probably my nan and grandad maybe not doing alot for her being so young but she lived under there roof with full support and according to her they wouldnt take me out until i was 2?

@Mara my MIL has just started to take my LO weekly to help me. Which im grateful for. Ive had alot to get over having an emergency cat1 csection to having to take fragmin injections for 6 weeks after my birth and now having high blood pressure. My mum isnt bothered she is doing this for me! She actually told me why dont i ask my work friend to help as she offered if i need any help?

@Samantha my mum thinks this is not her responsibility! This all started when i asked her when i was 6mth pregnant when i go back to work could she help and just sit in my house until i got home from work about 2hrs when my hubby left for work! So all i was asking was a maximum 4hrs a week? She told me i should of thought about this before i got pregnant and she dosnt know if she will be BUSY?

@Samantha My my mum is home all the time. I even asked if even my stepdad could help out? I got told he wouldnt want too even though its not even been mentioned! He loves to bits my little boy and opened a saving account for him which my mum is mad at he desposited a large sum in for him? In her words hes only seen him 4xs? Shes mad bcos they money isnt being spent on her? And my boy dosnt even know anything about it? Honestly i felt sad how she could even be jealous of her own grandson? She completly phased my step dad out my pregnancy not even showing him any scan pics! So i now send him stuff myself. My MIL is now helping and im grateful for as ive had so much go on in and after my pregnancy. My LO even had his first holiday with all my hubbys family we all went together