Trying not to feel discouraged

I brought up my concerns with my birth plan with my OB, I'm expecting to be induced after I had an elective c-section last time, and she showed me they have a VBAC calculator to give odds that a vaginal delivery would be successful and it came out to only 20%. I still want to try and I plan to start drinking red raspberry leaf tea and eating dates to help soften my cervix leading up to it, but my mom had a failed induction with me that ended in emergency c-section and I cannot express how much I hated my c-section experience and I feel like after days of labor it'd be even worse. She did let me know if I feel like it's not going well and just want to do a c-section after a day or whenever, I can opt to do that which does make me feel a little better. However, my baby is already measuring large, 79th percentile. My first (who measured average at 20 weeks just fyi) was born at 37 weeks and was 8 lbs so it's looking like this one could likely be 8-10 lbs even if he's born early term (likely due to being prone to uncontrollable gestational diabetes) and I'm just feeling like I have so much going against me for the vaginal birth I want 😪

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@Margo Wow I can’t imagine what is going through your mind right now. I’m so sorry for what you’re going thru. I do want to add that even tho the doctor is saying a successful VBAC is 20%, it doesn’t mean that there still isn’t a chance. Just keep mentally and physically preparing your body. You never know what could happen and doctors are not 100% accurate all the time! However, if you do need a C-section I do hope you have a more pleasant experience than before.

@Alexis I'm definitely going to try and induction assuming it doesn't become emergent, but I'm trying to get comfortable with the idea of having another c-section. I'm hoping experiencing labor before will help with the mental processing of a c-section. My c-section experience, though elective and planned, was pretty nerve-wracking and it kinda felt like I laid down, got dissected like a frog and suddenly their was a baby. And a baby that honestly has never looked much like me. All these things accumulated into PPD and problems bonding with my son because it was hard to process I was his mother. I just want to avoid that experience and would prefer to experience being an active participant in this baby's birth. But at the end of the day it's not really up to me

@Margo I understand 100% I commend you for taking the necessary steps to prepare for something you ultimately do not want to happen. That’s strength! I know with c sections some women feel disconnected from the baby a lot because in some cases they don’t get to experience immediate skin to skin. I hope this next birth won’t have you feeling disconnected from the baby or the whole experience. I hate that they base your elected c section as an 80% likelihood. Maybe talking and connecting with the baby while pregnant will make it easier for you to connect at birth. But just because your first birth wasn’t ideal, it doesn’t mean that’s the story for this one! It’s crazy to think that we as women carry a baby for several months and then feel disconnected at birth or thereafter. It’s so crazy, but it’s sooo real! Wishing you the best💕

My sister in law just had a successful VBAC and that was with an induction a week after her due date! Her first baby’s heart rate started dropping during pushing after a long labor and she had to have an emergency c-section. Her second was out in 3 pushes after nearly a day of labor! What happens will happen, but definitely don’t give up hope ❤️

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