Elective C-Section stigma

*Long Post* It wasn’t until I became pregnant and chose an elective C-section, that I realized there is a huge stigma from other mothers when you choose to voluntarily have a C-section. I remember posting asking for tips on recovery etc and I would get comments saying “why would you choose that?” Or “but our bodies are meant to push” which is such a huge false narrative. Yes, women carry children, however not every woman’s body is the same and there may be health reasons as to why a Mom cannot have a vaginal birth. My reasoning is that my boy was measuring large and I also suffer from epilepsy, therefore I chose a C-section. Even then, women would say “well I gave birth to an 11lb baby” again… we aren’t all the same. I wanted a controlled birth as opposed to feeling stressed waiting for labour, then worrying about possible interventions needed that will cause stress to myself and the baby. That is why my elective was so amazing because I knew what was going to be done, I knew what day and even if I went into labour beforehand I knew that it would still be a C-section. It’s just disheartening to see unsolicited comments that have nothing to do with what the poster is asking, or comments that are low-key putting the mother down for her choice not to have a vaginal birth. That’s why I love being able to lift up other mothers who are choosing an elective, and give them ACTUAL helpful advice. Especially when I see that they are getting similar comments as I did, I would hate to think a mother got bullied into choosing a different birth because of others belittling her choice. It’s worse when the mother states that they are getting one due to a previous traumatic birth, and the top comments tell them to go to therapy so they can have a vaginal birth… maybe it’s just me and I get maybe the commenter thinks it’s helpful but I just find it so insensitive. I just believe all over we need to do better and realize we don’t all have to have the same birth just because we are women, I put it in the same category as when women are asking for advice on formula because breastfeeding isn’t working… then the top comments are saying that they should get help to breastfeed 😔 motherhood is stressful enough and as women we should be lifting each other up and not creating cult like behaviour. Every birth is amazing and it don’t matter how you feed your baby you are doing amazing ❤️
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Thank you for saying this! I find that people sometimes feel better about themselves by putting others down unfortunately. It has become a matter of “bragging” from those who feel more superior because of vaginal birth, or no pain meds/epidural, or breastfeeding rather than formula. These people like to brag to feel validated. Don’t let these type of comments bother you, at the end you should always chose what is best for you and your baby and let others brag on.. it makes them feel better.

Absolutely. One emergency, one elective and I will be electing for another when my third baby is born in January. People can judge, but my decisions were based on the reasons for my emergency section. I know without any doubt that I made the right call for both me and my baby. No judgement on those who chose a vaginal birth!!

Absolutely agree with you! As the first mum of my friends to have a baby, I had no idea of the judgemental attitudes that people have. I honestly can't fathom why anyone who has had a baby would want to knock anyone down on anything. As women, we have enough to deal with in society alone, but being a mother has shown me there is more! I chose elective and to bottle feed, I also chose to go back to work 1 week after the baby was born. I've heard a few comments, especially how I've taken the easy route, I just say yeah I have if that's what you think! In what other world would someone CHOOSE the more difficult option! People are going to hate, which is so sad, but it's my life, and my husband has supported me, and that's all that matters. But please, can we all stop judging people and just help each other?! The whole #bekind is just such a joke when you see how horrible some people can be on things which literally don't affect them in any way! (Sorry rant over!) X

Love this, i had to have and emergency c section with my first me and baby were distressed i ended up with pre eclampsia pretty much the day i went in to labour they had to get him out that quick they cut me vertically l and horizontally on my uterus which now means if i have another baby it will have to be an elective c section as im not even allowed to be able to have contractions. When people say your to posh to push boils my blood. Doesnt matter how your baby comes in to the world youve carried them and gave birth either way x

Hun I choose c section because I can’t be asked being in labour God knows for how long and ending up with an emergency section or forceps and all sort of trauma which not only can and will effect my mental health but my Physical well being too. If ppl call me a chicken or a quitter try it you be pooping your pants in recovery after a section it’s not walk in a park I had hell a lot of pain and I still had to get up billion times but I would do it again I already had two section one cat1 emergency and cat3 emergency and two vaginal birth and I rather choose c section. Nowadays they don’t even give you chance to labour by yourself they give you pitocin all sort of drugs to speed your pain and labour up and that’s not natural either and makes the whole thing ten times worse the pain it’s unbearable with induction drugs and you be begging for an epidural. And about breastfeeding I only breastfeed my babies because I’m lazy sanitising stuff and can’t be ask making bottles overnight🤣

The thing I'm against is doctors pushing for a section without an actual medical reason, which is why often other people ask for the reason, in case this person is being pushed and not comfortable with the idea. That said, a person is 100% entitled to decide to have one. The important thing is that one knows the pro and cons of their decision, no matter what they decide. I think this is all about the c section being perceived as the "easy way out", which is BS. Sure, my emergency one went so well that it kind of felt that way, but there are also women that have 2h labours, don't tear and they're out and about the next day 🤷‍♀️

Totally agree with you, it happens on here all the time. I’m so glad that woman can choose to birth however they want to but like you say the backlash they get is ridiculous. What frustrates me the most is when someone who’s had a vaginal birth says ‘but it’s so empowering’ growing a baby for 9 months and giving birth is empowering full stop regardless of how the baby arrives!

You get no extra medal for which ever way it happens as long as everyone is safe at the end! I will be absolutely having an elective section next time after an emergency this time

Loads of my mates had a section (me included). Tbh - those that didn’t tended to end up in an emergency one!

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