Feel like I’m failing as a mum
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@Emily I’m glad it’s not just me in this situation. I felt like it’s my fault I’m in this situation and my partner agreed with that..although I can’t tell if he was just trying to be funny honestly. I thought we were into a winner but turns out she doesn’t like it so really not sure where to go from here. My partner has planned a weekend away (child free) at the end of this month and I’m dreading it I almost don’t want to go. I’ll only be gone for 1 day but I’m so worried she will starve. She doesn’t mind syringe feeding to much so they may have to do that if bottles won’t work. I’m really not sure what my work can offer to do for me as I work a clinical role in a hospital so do 12 hour shifts 3 days a week. They’ve allowed me to do just days when I return which is a b if help but I’ve got no clue what to do about feeding tbh. My partner has banished me upstairs or outside tomorrow. I’m not allowed to come down for anything. He wants to see what will happen if she thinks
Im not around. As I’ve always been either in the kitchen but I’m not quiet and she can probably hear me talking away. I feel anxious about it but also can’t wait as I’ve not been feeling well so a lay on might be nice 😌
Hey, don’t blame yourself. I can’t get my baby boy on the bottle either. He finally took formula as something new, but lasted only 3-4 days until he started refusing it again. I had to go to work the other day, and my partner was basically the same as you described. He just told me to go and he will handle it. It didn’t go well. I was away for 8h or so, and our little one only took about 60 mls in this time, most of it through syringe. But to be fair he didn’t look starved, still had wet nappies and was generally ok. So perhaps HV got a point. Do what’s right for you and your baby. We biologically wired to protect and feed our children. It’s absolutely healthy and correct thing to do to make sure our babies are fed above everything else. I just explained my partner that “survival” method won’t work for me. I don’t feel comfortable with it. So we keep trying to introduce bottle as something new and exciting and break negative associations.
If she takes a silly/straw cup, try offering milk this way?
Eeeee I had a baby like that, i don’t think she’d have starved but would have slowed her growth and fed even more at night (idk how because it was constant). I never did crack bottles with her but I’ve had easier children since and learned along the way. If you haven’t tried them then I’d try the lansinoh bottles. As for dummies my first never took one for long and my second bit through them so had to stop but but third I have cracked (touch wood) she was ifffy with dummies and I got her the Ninni Co dummy (cost a fortune to get three shipped to the UK but worth it for us) but now she also sucks her fingers she’ll take any dummy. The Ninni dummy is SUPER breast like and the lansinoh bottles seem a lot more latch able than the others. As for going back to work, I didn’t till she was 13 months and part time. We used to pack her off with a pot of her safe foods to tide her over till she could boob again. I’m sorry it’s so hard
Btw my daughter is 6 now and I’m pretty sure she meets the criteria for ARFID, Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder. Some kids with ARFID WILL starve themselves.
@Emily literally in the same boat as you too, I’ve just accepted I’ll always have to be here during the night with her
@Kierrah I just feel like by now I should know what I’m doing with her bring my 3rd baby. But my older 2 were formula fed from the start and took dummies. This little monkey was a prem baby so decided to use breast milk as she chunked out quickly on it and wanted to bond with her properly when she got home so I switched from pumping to breastfeeding. Would have started straight away but she was just too small. I’m hoping she just super stubborn as once you’ve had boob it’s hard to stop 😂 Properly starting solids now she’s like 5 months corrected so I’m hoping it goes well. I did try 2/3 weeks ago but she wasn’t overly interested. Currently syringing her milk during the day and breastfeeding her at night as I’m like a dummy to her. Might have to look into the ones you said. I do have a munchkin cup with the silicone tops so might see if she can work it as she’s gumming/biting a lot so she should be able to get fluids out of it xx
This is me too 😞😢 I feel so trapped at the moment I don’t know what to do. I’m hoping to go back to work to do some KIT days and I’ve asked to just do 3/4 hrs as I know she can cope. She takes small amounts of my milk in a straw cup (minimal) so hoping that suffices whilst I’m away with a bit of ‘lunch’ as it were to. I have a Xmas night out planned and that’s where I’m worried as she only wants me at night as you’ve mentioned because I’m a comfort. 40 days and counting until then just praying she takes to the bottle between now and then x
@Jessica it’s so hard isn’t it! It’s good she’s taking things from a straw even if it’s just a tiny bit. I have my daughter’s old sippy cup that I’m going to try as it’s a non spill one where they can get fluid out by putting pressure on the side. If not I’ll just stick with syringe feeding her as she has taken to that really well it’s just very time consuming. I hope you’re able to enjoy your night out! I’m going away for a full day and night in like a week or 2 and she’s staying at her grandparents. I’m literally stressing so much
I can’t believe I’m writing this after having a mini meltdown last night. My LO took the bottle this evening 🥲 we used a Lanisoh bottle with the slow teat. My husband gave her 2.5oz of my own milk warmed. We waited until she was contented and she hadn’t fed in 2 hrs so had a little appetite. I went upstairs with my little boy and left them to it in the living room. There’s hope guys! We’re going to keep trying once a day so she doesn’t forget again 😅 x
@Jessica I’m so chuffed for you! That’s amazing! Oh yeah definitely keep going with the bottle. My bottle dilemma continues but reading your comment gives me hope!
In the same boat here🙋♀️ Wont take a bottle, wont take a dummy, has lots of comfortors but doesnt take them! I couldnt take the screaming when we would give her a bottle so we havent tried for a couple of months now. I go back to work for a few days at the end of the month and just said youre gunna have to deal with the fact i cant stay for too long basically cuz baby girls gunna need me back🤷🏼♀️ Shes quite good in the day she loves her solids and takes alot of food and snacks but its night time for us where she gets clingy to me and feeds constantly as im a comforter to her too. Its so stressful as you cant do anything without thinking i need to rush back just incase! Its not very nice he’s huffing and puffing, your baby just prefers the boob! She’ll come off it when shes ready iv let my girl carry on and until its an issue im just letting her take the reins. Could you have a return to work meeting and just explain the feeding situation?