What to do when you are pregnant but your partner is making you get an abortion?

I found out I’m pregnant (only 4 weeks) by surprise as we were using condoms. We already have a toddler who we both love. My partner and I both agreed before we found out we would love to give her a sibling but not for another couple of years as we aren’t financially ready for another. When I found out I was pregnant he was adamant I get an abortion saying he would breakdown mentally if we have another and he can’t cope with another at all. I’m very torn as we have no help here, and I was soon about to start work again which I was looking forward to. But I have always wanted another just at a better time and I’m worried terminating this will play a huge part of regret in my head, but partner really is against it at this time. Any advice? I understand no one can tell me what to do but what would you do in this situation. We are both only in our mid 20s so I feel like we do still have time to have another in the future.

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This is very difficult but Imo your partner should do what he can to not have a breakdown before trying to pre-empt it. Ie is he on meds already? Could he get some councilling?

Sorry you’re going through this 💔. While your partner may be struggling with the idea and believe they’re going to have a breakdown, there could equally be longer term mental health implications for yourself as a result of getting an abortion if you don’t want one. Trying to force your hand is not being supportive or considerate of your feelings and using his own mental health is coming across as manipulative. I agree with the comment above around exploring preventive measures to support the mental wellbeing of your partner as other things could be put in place to support them beyond trying to make you abort. However if you decide you want an abortion then I’d encourage seeking support for yourself so you can be equipped to manage any negative emotions that you may experience or be concerned about xx

It’s your decision and your choice. You will be the one that has to live with it hanging over your head if you regret it, of course your husbands opinion is important but you get the final call. I hope you come to the best decision for you! 💕

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I might be in the minority here but I hear sooooo many stories of baby daddy's being so non involved and uninterested in kids and leaving it all to the mum that I'd really look into if you would be happy to do it all by yourself if the dad starts resenting you and not being able to help AT ALL with the second child. Yes it is your body, your choice but I think that's something to consider. You also said you were looking forward to going back to work, and you're not financially ready for a 2nd so I would also think about the impact that this would have on your entire family, is it worth it? Especially as you say you're still young and will have other opportunities. I think the wellbeing of your family unit right now should come first. I also appreciate it must be hard to hear this from your partner. Hope you can have a good open and honest conversation about it to do pros and cons. Good luck x

My opinion won't be well received by many, but I feel very strongly about you BOTH wanting this, not just you. There is nothing wrong with having a termination if the timing isn't right. You're both young, so plenty of time to have another baby when you both feel ready for it.

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