Family finances
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You need to communicate with him once bills are paid the £1000 has been used I can’t top anything into an account especially money I don’t have Maybe show him your trying 🤷🏻♀️ even if you manage £50 in to the saving pot it shows willingness but wouldn’t this come under financial abuse
No not being unreasonable, he can afford the bills clearly and you're in a country to be closer to his family which I assume was more his decision. I'd probably just communicate more clearly about buying anything that's not bill related, totally get that you want to have a tree but it probably should just be discussed first.
I have mixed feelings on this tbh. Does he have any savings of his own? Or is everything he earns going on bills? If the latter is the case, then I see his perspective here!
He has his own savings, was recently gifted money by his grandmother and saves 2/3s of his monthly pay
He has a lot of money left over to save some himself and plenty to live on too.. I think it’s unreasonable of him to expect you to use your savings as you’re not working and you’re caring for little one 24/7!
Maybe you should talk about joining your finances. Or more generally about how you're going to organise your finances more generally going forward.
I think is a little bit of compromise is needed tbf, i don’t necessarily think you should pay half, but i defo think you should contribute something if you have savings and you’re together and living together. you’re a team at the end of the day and the finance side of things shouldn’t just weigh on one person sorry i know that’s an opinion opposite to some of the others in the thread, and i don’t mean this comment negatively! i just think if i was in that situation and it was the other way around, i’d be unhappy paying everything knowing the other person has savings but doesn’t contribute towards bills x
@Hannah I would agree if he was dipping into savings as well to afford the bills, but he's not. He has £2000 for his own expenses and savings, why should she lose her safety net while he keeps putting away money and can buy whatever he wants? You never know when you might need your savings, if anything happens she would have nothing left. If he wants her to contribute, she can get a job but then they will have to pay childcare, so he might end up with more expenses. Obviously I would avoid non essential things like Christmas tree, or at least they should be discussed. It would be different if she was at least on SMP, which is pennies but I still contribute whatever is left after my personal bills and essentials, my husband adds whatever else is needed and neither of us is expected to touch our savings unless it's really needed.
In my opinion you should contribute something. Obviously you can not match what he is putting down as you’re not working but wanting him to pay for everything- your expenses, house expenses, baby expenses is in my opinion not fair. I have missed full maternity pay by about 3 weeks so I am only on SMP and it’s a pittance but I am using my savings to contribute to the household and we both pay the same amount. I can’t imagine doing it any other way but we all make different decisions when it comes to money
If you are looking after the kids and the home u shouldn’t have to contribute to bills at all ur a partnership. It’s ridiculous for him to expect u to have a limitless supply of savings and to even ask for that. Ur husband should be able to look after all of u financially as long as u are looking after ur children and doing ur part. It would be slightly more reasonable if u could work but that a discussions about ur own home dynamics. I don’t contribute to any bills in my home and my husband would never ask that of me and he would never force me to work he would actually prefer me not to have this burden so that I can focus on caring for the family unit
The problem is £1000 a month seems a small amount to cover all bills and expenses. He really can’t be saving £2000 to himself and then asking you to contribute. And only then you could contribute a small amount. I also think it depends on how much you have in savings but it sounds like you also do all the childcare presumably to reduce the cost of childcare? I understand you don’t want to lose your safety net. What are your long term goals? Do you intend to go back to work as tbh he sounds like the type of man who will probably resent over time if you don’t. Not very reliable so I would seriously consider this. It is the 21st century and not every man is happy to “provide” as previous people have suggested.
In my opinion, he cannot ask you to contribute as he knows that you are not working . However, you can hang out with friends and spend your saving on your personal preferences like nails, hair.. The money he gives everymonth is for the baby mainly as he doesnt earn much.