Hopeless

Hi everyone I’m a FTM I had my baby girl on 11/7/2024. Labor was very traumatic. I labored for 29 painful hours, with a failed epidural,begged for another epidural and it worked the second time. Baby girl dilated me up to 9.5 cm then decided she didn’t want to come out so ultimately ended up with a c-section. The c- section itself was traumatic. I had uncontrollable shakes and vomiting. Epidural wore out at the end so I felt every stitch as they were stitching me up on top of losing 1 liter of blood. Good news is baby girl came out safe and healthy. About a couple days later I was readmitted to the hospital for postpartum hypertension as a result of my c-section and was separated from my baby for an extra 4 days because my blood pressure was so erratic. Since we’ve been separated it’s affected my milk supply. Now I’m frustrated I’m not providing enough for my baby and have to supplement with formula. Ever since I came back, I’ve been feeling soo low. I can’t bring myself to do anything that makes me happy. I love my baby but I feel so disheartened because I really wanted to enjoy the moment of being a family now and it’s not what I imagined it to be. I’m still very weak and in pain. My husband is there in a sense that he’s taken on the role of the primary caretaker while I try to supply as much milk as I can but I also feel so alone emotionally. He’s there for me but I still feel so alone. I want to be happy and enjoy this time but I don’t know how to start.

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hey my son was born the same day and I had the epidural but sadly an emergency c section and i know how you feel cus i’m going the same thing i been loosing alotta weight due to lack of eating : on top of that my boyfriend is making it worst by complaining when it comes to taking care of the baby which makes me more depressed I feel alone too girly : i hope you get better tho and heal and congrats on your baby girl

I am very sorry to hear your story, I hope you are well accompanied, do not hesitate to ask for any kind of help if you need it, remember that you are in one of the most vulnerable stages of our lives and hormones can also play tricks on us. You will do fine, just recover and try to start to enjoy your motherhood. You are not alone.

@javiera thank you I appreciate your kind words 🥹

@Jess and congrats to your baby boy! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one going through something like this

Hey mama! You're doing the best you can, under extraordinary circumstances on top of that. I had my babe 11/3 and had a pretty similar story- 30 hours of labor, pushed for about an hour then developed pre eclampsia with severe features, emergency section (puked the whole time because they bottomed out my BP with my spinal so I empathize completely...that SUCKED.) and then required blood transfusions so had a long hospital stay. Not having your delivery and post partum go the way you expected is so hard and it's completely normal to feel emotional and frustrated by your circumstances. I don't have supply issues but because of my condition immediately post partum my babe never developed a good latch and now completely refuses to breastfeed so I understand that frustration too. If you need to vent feel free to message me, but just know that how you're feeling is completely appropriate and you're doing an amazing job. 💙

Also, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline provides 24/7, free, confidential support before, during, and after pregnancy. You can text or call! 1-833-852-6262

@MK thank you mama 🥹❤️

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