Sleep!

I am having the exact same issue. I am trying to help my little one to self soothe in the day in hope that he will transfer this to the night. He has managed it a couple of times but it isn’t easy x

Have you tried warming the cot with a hot water bottle

And something that smells like you nearby?

Unfortunately you’ll have to let him cry a bit :((( broke my heart too but he won’t remember this and keeps my mental health in check

If i can give you the biggest bit of advice from another mum of a kid who did exactly this, just try and teach them to self settle. I know it sounds awful and its horrid to let them cry and i refused to ever let my boy cry because i was convinced he would think i wasnt there for him….BUT he is now 4 and will still wake up in the night and need me to cuddle him to settle him back to sleep!!

Learning to self soothe is the only way unfortunately. My boy does it with a dummy but I still have to put that in at times and that’s a pain too. Once I get some energy I’m going to tackle the self soothing without it.

I used Ferber method on my first born to teach self soothing (unpopular opinion) however it took me 2 night and it was done! My little girl has self settled from day one she’s never been rocked to sleep or held always put down to nap/sleep So never had to do anything with her she’s slept well since 4 weeks xx

i know it’s not really recommended but we found that tucking a soft thick blanket around the mattress reaaallllyyyy helped ! again not ideal i am aware but i make sure it’s tucked tightly and there’s no way she can grip it loose and she sleeps so much better with a little cushioning. also sometimes i use the hairdryer on a higher heat to warm it up before i pop her in 😫🤣

Be persistent with putting him in the cot for all naps and nighttime sleep. I had the same issue with my LB, and I just had to keep picking him up to rock him back to sleep and put him into the cot every time he woke up. It's draining, but the only way it worked for me. He got used it by day 2. Also, as mentioned, you have to let them learn to self soothe: sucking fingers, turning their head from side to side, slamming their legs down, or sucking on a dummy. My LB does a mixture of all of these. Don't give up, you got this!

You absolutely don't need to let them cry. This is what I have been working on my little one and seen great progress this week. I am doing my own version of the pick up, put down method, so starting off put her down drowsy, stroking her tummy, head, putting hand on tummy and rocking her slightly whatever it takes, if she fusses a bit, I soothe her but don't pick her up unless she refuses to settle or starts crying, if she does, pick her up cuddle/rock until she is back to being drowsy, then put her back down and try again and repeat. It takes time. The last few days I have been trying to do less soothing when she is lying down, I still pick her up if she won't settle or cries and then put her back down, but just sit next to her, small steps. Today she has fallen asleep for three naps on her own, on one occasion I put her down, left the room briefly and when I came back she was fast asleep and not once did I leave her to cry x

What I do with my lo after she fall asleep on me I put her down in bed and I lay next to her hugging her and slowly take of my arm stay until she is settled down and then I leave to let her sleep

@Mikaila How long have you been doing this? Doesn't it make the baby overtired by getting them drowsy and not able to sleep again n again ? Additionally, does it affect their nap and bedtime routine?

@SmallWonder started this week, so just a couple of days. The first couple of times took a while but she gets it quicker everytime. She was in the sleep regression so her naps were all over the place and waking up repeatedly overnight, she is starting to come out of it now and sleeping a lot better. She used to always fall asleep on the boob so for 2 weeks I have been removing her from the boob as she falls asleep and putting her on my chest so she wakes up and rocking her to sleep so she gets used to not sleeping on the boob. The key is to watch for her sleepy cues and not let her get overtired, it takes longer if she is overtired.

@SmallWonder so I started on Tuesday night, it took a while. She kept crying when I put her down, so I picked her back up, soothed, back down, I think it took about 1.5 hours to get her down and I had to rock her while she was lying down, she woke up after 30 minutes and I soothed her without picking her up and she went back to sleep. Wednesday we managed one nap where she had been holding my hand to fall asleep, I never managed it for her first nap or her last nap and she was extremely overtired at night so put her to bed at 5.30 rather than 7, she slept much better than she had been, only waking for a feed. Yesterday for each nap she managed it and didn't take her long to fall asleep. And last night she went to sleep quite quickly, woke up a couple of times and needed resettled till I went to bed and sleep very well after that. Although woke up at 5am and wanted to stay awake 😴 but as I am coming out the regression this is all improvements and she is learning quickly she can fall asleep herself x

@SmallWonder I would rather disturb her sleep schedules and have her overtired for a day or two rather than leave her to cry and not respond, being distressed and potentially leaving her with attachment issues 💔

@Mikaila I agree, and I'm not in favor of the CIO method either. My little one wakes up every 30 minutes at night and falls back asleep each time I breastfeed him. It seems that teaching him to self-soothe is the best solution for this. Hopefully, he learns it soon without too much crying. 😢 I’m exhausted 😩

@Mikaila just to let you know no one on here is saying leave to cry for hours on end and my 3 year old does not have attachment issues and I used Ferber method on him. He’s been ill for a week and I have been sleeping on his floor with him when he woke at 4 in the morning so he certainly knows I’m there for him! It’s just teaching self soothing. There is different ways that work for different babies I tried everything for my first born and nothing worked other than Ferber. Co sleeping is not recommended but people still do it and I’m not against co sleeping one bit! Just saying there’s stuff everywhere with sleep! And it’s down to individuals on what’s best for them.

@SmallWonder it does sound like the sleep regression. My LO was waking up every 1-2 hours at night, so making the changes with unhooking her when she fell asleep and when she did wake up soothing her rather than offering the breast straight away have massively helped, if she didn't settle put her on the boob. She wakes up maybe twice for a feed now so much better. The sleep regression is hard going and they just need some help linking their sleep cycles.

Hi @Rachel I know no one said that. I previously read up on ferber method and it's not something I am comfortable with. Leaving my child to cry for 10 minutes would not be something I will be doing, however I wasn't making any comment about that, I was correcting the people who said 'you have to leave them to cry' (I think 2 people on this thread said it) that's not the case and there is other methods out there. But I am very pro cosleeping though. 😊

I put my boy to sleep on his side and then once he’s settled and deep in sleep roll him gently on his back. His eyes just go PING if I put him on his back

@Mikaila no that’s fine but I’m sure the two that comment don’t actually leave them to cry. But I’m sure they can comment on that there are other methods you’re right but just remember every baby is different I didn’t want to use Ferber on my son. I tried other methods and they didn’t work for him so I had no choice but to use Ferber every baby is different! Also if you’re not comfortable with it you do you no need to state you won’t be doing it. Like I’m not going to state how I feel on co sleeping because it doesn’t matter!

@Rachel you got to do what you go to do. I completely understand all babies are different. As I have already said anything I said was to correct the people who said 'you have to let them cry' which I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with and some research isn't favourable in that method. They have made it sound like the only option which it's not and evidence in later years are not favourable in that option. I am glad something worked for your baby though, however i don't feel you need to tell me how to comment, you told me you weren't comfortable with the ferber method and did it anyway so why can I not say I am not comfortable. And you brought up cosleeping, I was trying to agree with you. I am not here to argue. I am advising the poster there is a kinder way to help their child sleep. What they do with that information is up to them.

@Mikaila but it’s the way you say it! “You absolutely don’t need to let them cry” sometimes people don’t have a choice and are in desperate need and hearing comments like this is not going to help! Just state what you done and leave it at that because some do absolutely have to resort to this you’ve obviously not been in the situation where you’ve had no other choice. I’m not hear to argue I’m hear for the people that can’t speak up the ones that are reading from a far, you’re opinion on crying it out does not need to be on this post! Worry about yourself and not what others post.

@Rachel you are arguing and I am not here for it! I have opinions on the matter and I have kept them to myself. I will say AGAIN the poster asked how do I get my baby to self soothe and she was answered with 'you have to let them cry' 'you absolutely don't have to' so I stand by what I said. I was NOT talking to you who had tried everything. Perhaps you are feeling guilty you did it but don't project that it on to me! Have a nice day!

@Mikaila 🤣 trying to tell me how I feel now lol 😂 have a nice day