Rant about mom (kids grandma)

My mom just got overbearing out of nowhere. She told me I treat my daughter worse than my son which is literally not true. If anything my son got it bad cause I had bad post-partum depression with him and it only got rougher when my daughter was born he was in the 3/4 age and my patience was paper thin. And my mom didn’t say anything to me or intervene much then. I’m way better at handling tantrums now now that I think I understand my kids better and we have a routine. But anytime my voice so much as goes up an octave towards my daughter she is watching me. Literally watching. My daughter started getting her night time routine thrown off cause my mom is in town. I let it slide a lil the first week she got here cause duh Gma is in town. But now my daughter is basking in the added attention and her routine is fucked up now. She is suddenly afraid of the dark when the week prior she’ll got to bed no problem. She has a full meltdown if the tv isn’t on all night on a school night…I’ve never done that with them. It’s a mess now and my mom criticizes everything I say or do as if I favor my son which I don’t. I get on him about things but he isn’t having meltdowns so I don’t have to do much. Added to all that she keeps showing pictures of them as babies.. like baby baby pics she doesn’t even have recent pictures of them and idk if she will take any. As if she wants to think of them as babies still. She hates my daughter watching shows that aren’t for babies, she yells at my son when he plays with his sister (and they both play rough) but it’s always my son fault. She was probably about to literally feed my daughter her dinner for her had I not said anything. Idk maybe I’m tripping and I’m just not doing right or I’m thinking too hard and she just misses them. Idk it just bothers me. Side note: daughter will be 4 (Dec 31 this year) and my son is 6 so they are in the school kid ages so I start treating them with a little more structure. trying to build up to both waking up for school, coming home doing homework, a lil play time dinner, showers, and bed. My Bf works nights I work days so a routine has been amazing for me when I had to handle it myself now I feel like I’m getting back to mean mom smh