Breastfeeding struggles

Mines currently been latched on since 11pm soon as she comes off and burped she looking for more but surly she can’t be hungry after so long 😩

She’s 16 days old*

@Jade that’s exactly what I’m going through, it’s so frustrating and I’m trying so hard not to be frustrated with her as she obviously needs it but she’s not slept in the night since the day we came home from the hospital and now I feel like I’m at breaking point and don’t know how to improve it

My LO was the same as a newborn. I remember being up from 11pm until half 6, it’s exhausting. I was convinced I wasn’t producing enough milk so we started combi feeding and have done since, she is now 5.5 months. X

She’s above her birth weight and got lots of wet and dirty nappies, and will go 2 hours in the day without a feed but from 11ish - 3 am ish she just wants to constantly feed she’s stopped now and is settled on my chest it’s so hard I’ve not had more than 2 hours sleep at a time since I give birth hope it gets better soon x

I promise it gets better! I'm exclusively breastfeeding my 2nd (now 4 weeks) and breastfed my first for 8 months and went through this with both. It is utterly exhausting and I felt exactly the same as you. Was crying every day/night and felt close to losing it but honestly it will pass. I was so close to giving up but something in me just made me carry on and I'm so pleased I did because it got better. You're doing absolutely amazing 👏 Be kind to yourself ❤️ I know how hard this is so I'm sending you so much love. It will get easier. You got this 🫶

How old were they when it started to get easier I’m slowly getting used to the no sleep but it’s so hard x

Try a dummy/pacifier x

I know it’s so easy to say that it does get better but it really does! I really struggled with breastfeeding the first couple of weeks as my baby boy was the same and would cluster feed every hour especially at night and it would be so exhausting and emotionally draining because it felt like that’s all I was doing but I promise it does get easier!!

Look into lying down and breastfeeding and safe sleep 7/safely cosleeping. It absolutely saved me and changed our life.

I had this and it turns out my latch wasn't quite right getting that sorted helped so she was settled because she was getting more out. Also. Dummies. I know they say not to use them for a while in breast fed babies but I got the breast feeding friendly ones, it's not affected my feeding and they've been an absolute godsend. The sucking reflex is comfort for them. It's completely normal at this stage though to cluster feeding. They are growing loads so need loads but it does slow down as their growth rate slows. Your milk changes as they grow too and their growth rate changes. Breastfeeding is HARD though so don't feel disheartened that you feel like it. It's a biological and natural thing but that does not mean it's easy, both you and baby learn as you go. I'm 7 weeks in and now in a bit more of a place where I'm comfortable and can expect it and set my clock that I probably have a couple of hours between feeds. She still feeds loads but I'm adjusting!

I used to cry at night whilst breastfeeding because I was in pain and exhausted and I used to look at my husband next to me peacefully sleeping and I just wanted to slap him 💀😂 but then I thought “there’s no point waking him up if he’s just gonna stare at me” 😂 Maybe try a dummy if you haven’t already. My daughter used one since the day she was born and never affected my breastfeeding. She’s now almost 6 months old and she doesn’t even like dummies anymore but they were very useful when she was a newborn

I had days when my baby would cluster feed but it wasnt more often than once a week. My baby slept like an angel in a baby nest from Jukki. She had a dummy at first but then rejected it and that's when cluster feeding started. She then got better but I struggled to put her down for naps and had to rock to sleep or hold upright on my chest after a feed for 20 mins and put down then. Room had to be quiet and dark, white noise on. She is now 10 weeks and she got a new dummy that she loves. She just goes into cot with it, one more extra thing I di now except of above is I play her mobile for a few mins for each nap/night sleep so she knows its time to sleep. Get yourself a dummy trial pack from Bibs if you arent against them, so you can find the type your baby will like, they are life savers. BIBS Colour Try-It Collection: 3 Soothers for Your Baby's Unique Needs, Round, Symmetrical and Orthodontic Nipple. Natural Rubber Latex, 0+ Months (Pack of 3), Sage https://amzn.eu/d/2qJPtf3

Also, if the baby is not swallowing while on the boob, just put your finger into her mouth and take her off. If still hungry she cry and will latch properly. If I see she keeps falling asleep while she needs to feed, I talk loud to her, gently press on neck or feet, blow some air on her face. If asleep after a good feed, burp her and keep upright on your chest for 20mins or so in case she would be sick if lied down or would get hiccups. I would then put baby into cot. Baby shouldn't need to feed for more than 40mins at the time if everything is ok with her.

@Jade 9 weeks, they learn many skills and become more present from week 8 when they go through a growth spurt. I have so much time now during the day vs no time before 🤣 if I need to do something, I put mine into a chair and she watches me do chores. Thats if she is after a feed and I need her upright. She goes on a mat and play herself too. She falls asleep in her cot sometimes under 10mins for the naps. It's hard to believe how quickly things change! One thing I recommend is read about wake windows and you can get Premium on Huckleberry app even just for a week that will generate a sleeping schedule for your baby.

@Louise can you do that with a 2 week old

Oh ladies my heart really does go out to you in the trenches right now BUT as others have said it does get easier. I was driving round at 3am some nights trying to get my LG to sleep so I know the struggle. They just want their Mum right now, we’re carry mammals but apparently we’re meant to ignore their biological need for us because of society 😅🤣. I can’t tell you a week but a time will come where you can feed them and put them down without them instantly waking I promise. We’re 8 months in and I’m so pleased we powered through, it’s so tough I know, but recruit all the help you can so you can rest when you can x

@Louise Totally agree with this! Saved us many a night in the beginning x

@Jade yes, make sure to do the safe sleep 7 and the cuddle curl. There are some good resources on Instagram- Happy Cosleepers and Cosleepy

Have you tried a love to dream swaddle? Well the little sleeping bags, my little boy will only settle with my nipple in his mouth, but of a night time I started putting him in the love to dream swaddle and he settles a lot quicker as it’s designed to make them feel like they are being cuddles and arms on natural sleep position. There are lots of Vinted so maybe get one off there and see if it helps rather than paying the full money for one. And I would co sleep, it’s will help a lot, they just love the smell of us and feel more settled and cosy when they can smell us xxxx

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Dream-Self-Soothing-Essentials-Temperatures/dp/B07NB7SR71/ref=asc_df_B07NB7SR71?mcid=ca0faa40e9ef38eabfe86328837b1a68&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697271723641&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4985561211984607775&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046501&hvtargid=pla-672605503627&psc=1&gad_source=1

Cosleep c curl, safe sleep 7. She'll latch on and off when she needs and you WILL sleep. Just get dad on permanent snacks, dinner and drinks duty and try to relax into it. It's unrelenting at the start.

Oh my, I remember this! Whilst it doesn't help right now, it will pass. Have a look at the Lullaby Trust's safe sleep 7 to help you get some rest. Focus all your efforts on baby because everything else can truly wait and let your partner wait on you. He could also do some research to see if there are any local breastfeeding support groups near you who can offer some support. Take care!

It does get better. I had so many struggles at the start. I'm now 7 months in and it's a breeze. Can you get in touch with your local home start feeding team? They are amazing for support. Have you got someone who can watch baby for a couple hours while you have a nap during the day? And wake up when baby wants feeding? And then go back to sleep? Even co-sleeping safely while baby cluster feeds will do wonders, your never fully asleep but half asleep cause your lay down but its less exhausting then being sat up feeding if that makes sense

I’d recommend trying breastfeeding lying on your side and safe co sleeping. This saved me in a similar situation to you and now at 14 weeks BF is going well! It allowed us to both get some rest while he was feeding

Sounds like cluster feeding lovely, it does get easier! Message the breastfeeding network on Facebook they are very good ♥️

Thank you everyone, it’s just the hardest thing being so tired all the time, I had been managing well up until last night when everything hit me. It’s meant to be the most natural thing but currently feels like the hardest and most unnatural thing to both of us. I have tried the love dream swaddles but she isn’t keen so I’ve also just tried the halo swaddle which seems like it can be done a little tighter. Thank you for the idea of dummy trial pack, I’ve tried her with some but she can’t get on with them as they seem too big and I had no idea breastfeeding friendly ones existed. I will give the co sleep position ago, currently I am feeding her with me laying down and her on my chest/abdomen as my milk flow is too fast for her and makes her sick.. I just feel so bad and guilty for being stressed and frustrated at this time when I should be loving it

It's intense. I've just reached a year and it's cathartic reading this after a difficult start ourselves. Happy cosleeper offers support for safe chest sleeping as well. It's less known but can be just as safe. The side lying feeding position I believe is also good for fast flow as gravity is not against them. You want pillows ready for behind your back and in between your knees - it will ache after a while. Happy cosleeper has loads of recommended products for this. It's just a person for reference, there are others but she is well trusted. It's all a blur and I wish I'd enjoyed this year more but we're first parents and it's their first time as a human☺️ you're doing well! Find your nearest la lèche league also. I found them at 9 months but better late than never. Don't be guilty, it's just part of it x

@Sophie don’t feel bad about being stressed and frustrated, you’re human and doing an amazing job…you’re seeking help and doing all you can for your LO. That’s a brilliant mum. You will both get to a stage that is comfortable for both of you. My LO is 5.5 months and I just said to my husband today it feels easier breast feeding now than it did at the beginning x x