Help 😭

I definitely am suffering with PND and just want to know I’m not alone and not a bad mum. I hate every day. I wish so hard for the life I once had. I feel terrible for even admitting it and always feel like there must be something wrong with me. I’ll cry for hours on end just wishing someone would take my baby away from me. I don’t enjoy looking after my baby, and the happiest I’ve been since giving birth is when I’m not around my baby. I need to know that this will get better and how to get better. I’m against meds because I’ve been on them before and I know what the 2 weeks are like when you start taking them and honestly don’t think I’d survive it. I try talking to people and just hear yeah get on with it or, yeah your life changes when you have a baby. I don’t think they realise how severe it is. I’m desperate at this point I feel like I want to run away 😭
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Hey, feel free to message me, I have PND my little ones 16 months now , it really is a horrible feeling and makes you feel like an awful mum, I’ve always been against medication too because I don’t want to be reliant on them to be myself, it’s been a tough road and I’m not fully there but I’ve learnt to change some things and get myself into a better routine- it’s kind of helped, I tried counselling too but honestly it didn’t help at all, I think unless someone’s going through it they won’t realise how awful it is, you doubt everything and start to resent everything. Counselling didn’t work for me but it may work for you, speak to your dr about it and they can refer you, you get telephone calls first and then they can do face to face or video calls, they do ask a lot of questions, I got scared that the would take the kids away from me because of how I felt but they kept reassuring me that they would never do that, just there for our welfare x inbox is open if you ever want to chat x

Firstly, I am so sorry your going through this. I had it really really bad too pretty much straight after the birth. My little one had really bad silent reflux and collic so was very unsettled. I got put on searchaline and had support from the perinatal team both really helped. But totally respect your decision not to take medication. Have you got any support from services like the perinatal team? You are doing a brilliant job, trust me I really no how low you are, and you are still here and accepting help for you and your baby that's incredible in itself. All I will say is accept any help you can get and do not feel guilty about it. Also remember what you have is a horrific illness it's not your fault. People used to tell me this all the time and at the time it was not helpful, but I promise it does get better and easier in time. Xx

I feel exactly the same x feel free to message if you want to chat x

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